Saturday, April 16, 2011

change is in the air . . . how do you do holidays with your fam?

so...a new topic of discussion in our household has been how to handle the holidays. We thought we had it figured out, but we are slowly realizing that pleasing everyone (including ourselves) is impossible.

i know this can often be a heated debate for some, but we thought we had it all figured out. we even discussed it in our premarital counseling. for some reason, it's just not working out like we had planned...

here's the catch: both of our families are in town so we have been splitting a day (it seems most holidays fall on Sundays) and doing half with my fam and the other half with joe's fam. we are super blessed to have both famlies in town, so i would never trade that for the world! but it does seem like it would be easier to make holidays work if we had to travel somewhere- but again- i'm really glad we don't have that challenge in front of us- because i actually would rather figure this out then have to travel to spend time with one of our sides (sorry to all those who have family out of town- i know God helps you all figure it out and you make what works for your fam- it just seems like it would be a huge undertaking- not to mention, kind of stressful- especially when you throw kids in the mix)

so, the half day ends up being lunch after church with my fam (which is kind of a tradition whether it's a holiday or not, then an early dinner w/ joe's fam...the tricky part is, that it's not working out that great anymore. Judah is cranky at lunch time, then wants to take a nap when we are with my fam, and joe's fam feels like they are getting the leftovers of the topic is up for discussion in our home right now (no conclusion has been made)- but, should we (or should we not) rotate holidays even though both families are in town? I guess the stubborn side of myself says- that's crazy- let's just make our families compromise so I can get my way and hang out with both since they are both in town- but the practical side of me says- my husband would be happy and it would make for a less stressful "day."

i guess it's still up for discussion- but we are thinking about making the switch her shortly- now it's just where to begin. Do we start with Easter? As it's next Sunday? Or do we start with Mother's Day (and tick off one side of the family who wouldn't get to see us) and then Father's Day (again, either a Mom a Dad or Joe and I would all be affected on those days depending on where we are spending what day with which side)...the thought of that just seems crazy to me not spending Mother's Day with my mom or Father's day with my dad (or me now as a MOM not being with my fam, or Joe as a DAD not being with his)- but would it make for a less stressful "day"...we would be changing tradition- but sometimes change is good...right?

So...there are my thoughts for the day. Maybe it's a little too much info for some (i guess i just like getting feedback as to what works) or maybe some outside opinions as if my thoughts sound crazy or not...i'm trying to be open to this "change" and make it the best for our immediate fam (Joe, Judah, myself and baby on the way) but then we love both of our extended fam's too...and want to please all parties...

Change is in the air- i guess it's inevitable. it just affects a lot of people around us (including our siblings and grandparents too) what solution do you think would be best without really knowing our famliy dynamics?

This little guy will be happy with whatever we decide I'm sure...

1 comment:

Dave M said...

We seem to have adjusted pretty well,but then we have been married nearly 35 years. Christmas Eve rotates between our house and our two boys. Christmas day is quiet (just the two of us), a movie and then dinner at my sisters. Easter but due to our Choir commitment it usually boils down to just brunch or lunch with my Mother. The rest of the family does their own thing and occasionally we end up in a big family gathering. Dot's only family is her brother(her dad is in a home and not mobile) who occasionally will come down and enjoy a holiday or two with us. Our two boys will do father's day and mother's day usually on the Saturday before and take us out to breakfast, lunch or dinner. No complaints but then I am pretty flexible. You have to be as the family grows. One last thought... why not get both families together at one time, in one place at a time that works on Judah's schedule(and your's of course) Everybody wins!