anything story // the hurting never stops

Jennifer Turney accidentally stumbled in our small group in October 2013 at Capital Christian Center in Sacramento, CA. Jennifer had recently been diagnosed with Systemic Lupus and had to resign from her occupation as an Addiction Specialist working for STARS (Specialized Treatment And Recovery Services) but she knew there was more to life than resigning to pain. I was leading a group called MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers) at the time and was looking for a way to blend a privileged community of moms with mothers needing a helping hand. Mentor Moms was birthed over breakfast at Ettores (a local bakery), while we shared a passion and a dream to connect the two diverse populations.

Jen & I

Jen's story is quite different than mine. Jen doesn't like talking about the past much because she feels like it highlight's too much of what the enemy has stolen from her. She wants to spend more time on what Jesus has given her instead! However, she survived human trafficking, eating disorders, domestic abuse, drug addiction and homelessness. Beyond that, Jesus came to her. Jesus rescued her! Jesus took all the broken parts of her past and showed up in a big way. He showed her what truth looked like for the first time.

Lupus took away some basic functions of life. Some days it's tricky to brush her teeth, style her hair, get dressed, put on makeup; the pain comes in like a flood and quickly strips her of normality. Other days, she's able to slowly get ready and make it out to a couple appointments. She's currently undergoing a trial-based treatment getting infusions (similar to chemo) every-other-week. She easily could give up on purpose in life. She easily could resign to pain and bed-ridden days. But she's not! She said an "ANYTHING" prayer when Jesus rescued her. She can't stand the idea of mothers never hearing the truth and freedom of Jesus. Though the pain in her physical body can be unending, she always mentions the hurt and the pain in the lives of women in our own Sacramento community that will never end until they are shown love in practical ways through our mentors. She's famous for saying, "I won't stop working because the hurting on the street never stops."

Jen & Laine with Mentee Amber & Kids

Jennifer had access to drug and alcohol treatment centers, transitional living programs, and CPS cases from her previous exposure and employment which helped provide a referral system for the mentees in our group. We were able to quickly create training material, recruit reliable mentors and set up a non-profit organization in the last two years through the good and the bad days of Lupus. Jen is a fighter. She's not going to go down without seeing God do a miracle. We are seeing miracles every day in the lives of our mentees who are overcoming huge obstacles. Even if her physical body is not healed on this earth, she is apart of healing hearts everyday and extending the love of Jesus.

Her story was shared at our Easter services in April 2015. You can watch part of her video here: https://vimeo.com/123719488

Jennifer Turney from Capital Christian Center on Vimeo.

#anythingproject

You can read more about the #anythingproject here: ANYTHING

Follow more of what Mentor Moms is doing on our social networks:
facebook.com/SacramentoMentorMoms
instagram @MentorMoms
twitter.com/MentorMoms

Crying in the Costco Bathroom Stall . . .

I have been told that I was a "strong-willed" child. I've also been told that entering into parenting my past faults would come back to haunt me. I guess you could say it's the circle of life or whatever, but the truth is, it's becoming my reality.

Sample Incident Report

Don't get me wrong, my children are amazing! They surprise me everyday with glimpses of hope. But I'm also in the trenches right now. I'm walking through the messy parenting stages of life with a 4 and 2 year old. I cross my fingers daily as I go to pick up Izzy from preschool that she hasn't had a rough day. My stack of incident reports is growing (the only competition is my sister-in-law with my niece Ella- ha). My parent-teacher conferences are getting scheduled more frequently. It's no joke. I'm in the trenches.

I'm sure you are wondering what this all has to do with crying in Costco- so here goes. My cute little family of four adventured to Costco on Saturday before heading to a few family and friend BBQ's last weekend. We had to pick up "the goods." We like to think we have our shopping trips mastered at this point. Joe grabbed a cart and stuck Judah in it. I grabbed another cart and stuck Izzy in it. Divide and conquer, right?! Well, everyone needed to stop for a potty break so we headed to the bathroom. And so it begins. . .

Izzy is smart. Izzy is potty trained. Izzy is independent. She opened a bathroom stall and proceeded to go potty all by herself. I headed to the stall next to her (TMI-sorry) rushing quickly to make sure she didn't have any escapades crawling between stalls (cause that has happened before) I was done and waiting for her to finish. She started taking her time and I was in a little hurry to get our shopping trip done. I knew for sure at this point the boys were so far ahead of us, that I knocked on her door and offered to help her get her pants up. She insisted that she could do it herself which was fine for the first minute that passed. But with the clock ticking, I opened her door to which she responded by screaming loudly in the echo-y bathroom. I continued by pulling up Izzy's pants and carrying her out of the stall to her dismay. Those in the restroom (and outside the restroom) heard her disappointment and frustration. To me, it wasn't that big of a deal (maybe it should have been?). Just a battle of the wills at this point and I was going to win.

Well, I take Izzy up to the sink to wash her hands and she's still upset, but I'm #winning. I guess not only was Izzy upset, but an older woman also became very upset that I wasn't doing anything to put Izzy in her place. Washing her hands next to me, she looks over and says "Aren't you going to do anything about that? You know there is something you can do!" (I'm guessing she's referring to "spanking" her). To which I turn and say, "Thank you," very kindly as to not enter an altercation.  She grabs paper towels on the other side of us and turns to Izzy and says "Brat." I think more than anything at this point I was kind of in shock. No words came out of my mouth. She continued to exit the restroom and then turned around back to me and said, "You know the only reason she is like this is because of you." Still in shock I said, "Thank you, you have been very helpful." And she walked out the door.

She then runs into Joe and asks, "Did you confiscate my cart?" To which he replies (not knowing any of what just went down inside) "No, but your husband confiscated our extra cart and moved down that direction." She muttered under her breath and walked away.

I actually did not end up crying in the bathroom stall (just thought it would be kind catchy) but I know plenty of young, tired moms (without much support) that easily could have ended up defeated and crying in a stall. I probably felt a little deflated, but I won my battle with Izzy (even though it wasn't a quiet win). I explained to Joe what took place and he laughed. He said, their home must be really lame and not filled with much life. I guess the husband was standing by Joe (after the husband confiscated our extra cart) and when Izzy uttered her first frustrated scream the man said "Jesus Christ" to which Joe replied, "No sir. It's not Jesus. It's just Izzy." The man then walked further down the lane to remove himself from the scene of the crime.

Well, I know I don't have parenting figured out. Seriously, I don't. My children don't always listen to me at my first request. Sometimes there are tears, timeouts, spankings (we actually do spank sometimes) but I do try to ask God for help along the way. I know that He has given me my kids for this time in history. I know that He has equipped me to be their mom. To win some battles of wills, but more importantly to teach them that Jesus loves them. That Jesus has created them to show love to those around us. That Jesus has blessed us, so we can in turn bless others. We are walking life out together. I just wish that the nice old lady could have looked at me instead and said "I've been there. Keep fighting the good fight. You've got this."

I hope my little story sparks something in you today! Don't be discouraged. You've got this! My little fighter (her name is Ireland people) is going to be something mighty! This will be a story I can tell her when she ventures into parenting and has one just like her. Good luck!

My everyday life.

uniquely prepared for someTHING . . .

Ever have those moments where you look back at the past few months and can see God's incredible touches of grace and preparedness for what's to come? I don't know if it's because I'm 30, because I have two ridiculously amazing kids and a husband who lets me live out my dreams, because of the way I was raised, because of the way I'm choosing to do life, etc. but the only way I can get through day-to-day stuff is by recognizing this world is way bigger than just ME and only God's grace is amazing enough to carry me through each moment.

I'll catch you up to speed here since it's been a minute since we've last chatted. Once MOPS started (last blog post) and my work load piled up, it's been a wild ride with not much space in between. (I can't believe I never posted about MomCon either it was an AMAZING part of this "THING" I want to share with you.

If you aren't a detail person you can skip all of my jargon for the reveal of the THING down below. If you don't mind reading all the how to's this THING came into existence...I'll take you on a little journey.

A huge challenge I've been faced with lately (strongly in 2013) was trying to surround myself with people who don't think like, act like, or believe like me. You see, I grew up in the church. I went to private christian schools the majority of my education experience. I now work in a church. My friends all believe in God and we talk about Him often. But, what good am I doing, living in these safe environments? Don't get me wrong, I'm highly appreciative for all that I've been given, blessed with, even protected by growing up the way I did. But, I'm pretty sure "my story" (past and present) has uniquely prepared me for what's ahead.

The theme this year for MOPS is "embracing your story." I was super excited about it and a little nervous all at the same time because I don't really feel that I have a very interesting "story" (my friends would say otherwise) but I just felt it was really "safe" and kind of non-impressive. Another challenge to myself from last year was to figure out how to SHARE my story. To talk about what makes me who I am and believe the way I believe. So, I've been writing it out. I even went as far as sharing it at a MOPS meeting last semester (I guess I'm due to blog about that now too, huh?) Anyways, it's all led me to a place where I just feel extremely "called" (there's a churchy word for you) to reach moms. Like seriously passionate about it. Like it can keep me awake at night sometimes, and it can keep me loving my kids too when they are driving me crazy- ha! I guess you can kind of see it's impact on my choices too from the launch of Capital Moms and Capital MOPS. But, it doesn't stop there. If you notice before each of those words (moms and mops) came the word Capital. That's not a bad thing. But it's all a church THING. I now want to help our church moms reach our community moms in this new THING. Moms that have no clue what hope looks like. Moms that have addictions. Moms that need to be loved right along their life journey. Because, regardless of where we are all at along the path; we can all relate and find a common ground on the defining word "MOM."

So, (fast forward) we are in a fasting small group study (going to admit here I didn't take it as seriously as I probably should have) but God is way cooler than me - so He drops in a new couple to our group on 11/6/13 which has spurred a unique bond between us. Jen and I head to brunch to catch up on life and share where we are at. Low and behold, God connected me the "church mom" with an advocate for the "community mom." You see, Jen works in a program where she heads to a moms home before CPS comes in to take her kids away and rescues the mom as a last resort into various programs (detox, residential, etc). She works alongside the courts, the social workers and the moms to figure out a better way of life because they don't know any better. They have never seen anything different. Most are repeating life cycles from previous generations. So, we get a brilliant plan together to pair the "church mom" with the "community mom" in a partnership as a "mentor mom." (our THING)

What is a mentor mom? Glad you asked! We are kind of making it up as we go along, because each situation will be organic. But the gist of it is the "church mom" would be meeting up with the "community mom" for playdates, being available by phone to help give advice in times of need, a model if you will, an example for what life "could" look like. Being a friend. Most of these moms don't have a support system. They don't have family members to turn to for help. Most have never seen what a healthy lifestyle looks like, not even a glimpse. The mentor mom would also share her struggles and advice on how to deal with crazy kids in a healthy manner (not perfect, but healthy). We give a mom someone to stand next to her and hear the words "I believe in you, you can do this!"

I know it's a lot to swallow. It's been building and progressing quickly. We feel it's far bigger than anything we can do on our own, but we also know that God is walking before us. If your heart was stirred at all while reading this, I would love to connect with you! as Jen would say, "The suffering never stops. The need will always be there." That only means one thing, we need more mentor moms to jump on the journey with us. It's something that requires a little training. We will help provide the how to's and a life-line along the way. I'd be more than happy to share more details if this peeked your interest. Pray about it. God could be telling you to try it out. On my book list this year is "She Did What She Could" by Elisa Morgan (spoke at Mom Con and I just bought the book- you can read the first chapter by clicking the link)...Being a "mentor mom" is nothing more than offering friendship at this point. Saying you are available to meet the need of a hurting mom. Is that something you could do?

So, for those who didn't want to read all my other ramblings- here's the short version of my life since October:

SHORT BREAKDOWN & MORE HERE
1. Mom Con - Jen Hatmaker - this quote has haunted me since: "I'm sick of serving saved people and blessing blessed people. Are we obsessed with our neighbors? Are the hurt, lost, broken people around us welcome into our home?"
2. Small Group - Wednesday, November 6 Jennifer Turney and her husband stumbled into our group (only a God thing) which led to the two of us catching brunch together.
3. Brunch with Jen - we each share our stories (which are vastly different in a good way) and we share what we are passionate about.
4. Share my story at MOPS- and I believe "my story" has uniquely prepared me for things only God can get all the credit for leading to this "mentor mom" THING
5. Jen and I meet an amazing mom and daughter who've come out of addictions and much more for a playdate with our kids.
6. Jen, the director of a VOA residential program, and myself meet at Chipolte to talk about how we could potentially all work together.
7. I head on a tour of a residential and transitional home to get a feel for the moms I could be getting connected with.
8. A Mentor Mom program is birthed!
9. Maybe you are part of the rest of this story?
10. If you say you don't have enough time, read this blog over here, by Shauna Niequist (daughter of Bill Hybels, Willow Creek), my new favorite: What My Mother Taught Me

There you have it. (It's hard to put four months in one blog.) I hope it's not another 4 months till we chat next. Email me at laine.alves@capitalonline.cc if you want to get connected on this THING!

hey mom, what's your story?

i can't even begin to let you all know how excited i am about MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) this year! with one year under our belt, we are feeling like things are all flowing in the right direction! our leadership team is amazing and unique, comprised of so many incredible woman with unique opinions but a couple things in common: 1. we all love jesus 2. we are all moms and have a passion to encourage, support, and live life with others, not going through motherhood alone!

so, here's my shameless plug, because it's what keeps me up and night and excited in my "spare time" that doesn't really exist.

each year MOPS international comes up with a theme. this year it's "A Beautiful Mess . . . Embrace your Story." Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Everyone has a story right? You probably know a little of mine if you follow my blog, and if  you join MOPS this year, you'll learn more than you ever really cared to know. Regardless, I want to know your story and there are several other moms waiting at your table to hear your's as well! 

our meetings are fun, refreshing, time to fill your bellies with an uninterrupted brunch, talk with other moms, and most importantly some time for yourself (which we know doesn't really happen anymore). we cover various topics from parenting, marriage, health, decor, etc and always leave time to create deeper relationships with those in the room.

check out our invite card

you can read more about the details and dates by clicking on the image or visiting our registration page, click here!

i could go on-and-on, but i'll spare you some curiosity. if you have any questions or want to get connected, comment here or email me at laine.alves@capitalonline.cc.

the first monday is coming up fast! save the date for september 9. i promise you won't leave the same way you came and you'll have lifetime friendships that will help you get through these early stages of parenting.

thanks for reading a little of my everyday life.

you can catch a previous post from last year with some photos of a MOPS meeting here.

MOMcon

So, I've never been one to travel across country for a convention. But, when getting a bunch of friends together, thinking about getting away from the "household" stuff for a few days, laughing, staying up too late, and learning a bunch of stuff that could make me a better wife, mom, friend, and just a better me- I couldn't resist.

The craziest part of the whole thing is, my husband didn't even seem to object. Seriously? Maybe it's because it's several months away, or maybe it's because he's just super supportive, or call it God prepared the way . . . but I'm super excited to jump on an airplane with old and new friends to explore what Mom Con is all about. That's what MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) titles it's convention. The craziest thing too is that this is our first year being introduced to MOPS and we are all in. I guess you can say we all have felt blessed, challenged and encouraged by what it offers.

Regardless, I'm packing my bags and going to start counting down the days (it's in October) for this life-changing experience. They have a great line up scheduled to celebrate 40 years of MOPS this year (Beth Moore, Lysa TerKeurst, Jen Hatmaker, etc). I love living real life out with other young moms. It's awesome to be able to share life's joys and struggles with each other! I know it's going to be life-changing for sure. We are taking "for sure" 5 moms from our leadership team, but the number is slowly going up.

If you want to learn more about what it's all about, check out their registration link here: MOPS.org. If you want to learn more about Capital MOPS and be apart of our amazing team, find us on facebook here: facebook.com/groups/capitalmops!

I've heard lots of excuses why people don't make it to events like this, but spend a day with some of my leaders (stay-at-home-moms & working-moms) and they will inspire you to find a way to get there. I'm using my birthday money this year to register because I know it's going to be a crazy fun experience.

Join us if you want to get away! The investment you make will make it all the more worth-while!

One on One with Mary Jacobs

We were privileged to host Mary Jacobs at the last Capital MOMS brunch. She is a wife, mother of three, and a teacher at Capital Christian High School. Talk about experience. She's got it. I don't think I'm speaking for myself when I say I walked away with some great goals and reminders! I hope (if you weren't able to make it) that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

Psalm 13
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

Sometimes being a mother of little babies/preschoolers can feel lonely. We have to choose to believe the Word of the Lord. We can get stuck in a cycle of "assumicide" or "presumiscide"- presuming things about others and it just kills/drains us. We don't know what's going on in the lives of our friends. Don't live life alone. When we catch ourselves going down that road, grab a friend and God's word and begin to pray the scripture. We need freedom (and have to give the freedom to others) to not be perfect. You will have more freedom when you aren't comparing yourself to another. The way to get back on track is through prayer and time with God. Even if you're prayer conversations sound like this sometimes:

Interesting Conversation with God.Author- Unknown, from a forwarded email (Mary says sorry she can't find the author's name)

Me: God, can I ask you a question?
God: Sure.
Me: Promise you won't get mad?
God: I promise.
Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late.
God: Yes.
Me: My car took forever to start.
God: Okay.
Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.
God: Hmmm.
Me: On the way home my phone went dead just as I picked up a call.
God: Okay.
Me: And on top of all that, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
God: Well, let me see. The Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me: (humbled): OH...
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The person who made your first sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what he has.
I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me: (embarrassed): Ok...
God: Your phone went dead because the person who was calling was going to give false witness about what you said during that call. I didn't even let you talk to them so that you would be covered.
Me: (softly) I see, God.
God: Oh, and that foot massager had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm sorry God.
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me in all things, the good and the bad.
Me: I will trust you.
God: And don't doubt that MY plan for your day is always better than your plan.
Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
God: You're welcome, child. It was just another day being your God, and I love looking after my children.

Mary shared about her experience with her daughter (now almost 29) being diagnosed at 2 1/2 years old with leukemia while being pregnant with her second child on the way. How do you handle a situation like that? She explained how she was just grateful that she knew God. She remembers sitting on her mom's couch and crying and just thanking God that she knew Him already- because He would carry her through this situation. (I'm not so sure I would have reacted the same way??) She asked the question- Who's kids are they? They are God's. Laura is still an amazing testimony of God's grace, miracles, and His strength. She battled 2 brain tumors this summer and recovered well and is teaching at the preschool. You would never know or guess her struggles - but God is greater. God has carried their family through. Reminds me to be grateful for God's blessings and thank Him daily for good health!

We have the ability to parent from a place of FEAR or from a place of VICTORY. When we parent with victory, there is much more freedom, less tension and joy!  

We also must remember to cultivate the fruits of the spirit in our own lives. We can't say "be kind" to our kids while we are constantly nagging our husbands. We have to practice what we are teaching. We can't make our kids love Jesus. We have to be real and live it our inf front of them. When we live from a place of love, joy, peace, patience . . . they will want to experience what we have.

Above all, we need HIM (period) to live. Pray the scripture over yourself and your kids. You are praying the will of God over them when you prays scripture- because it's HIS Word. Not only should we pray for our own kids, we need to be loving and praying for our friends children as well. God gave the example of leaving the 99 for the 1 who was struggling- it's the same with us today. When we see someone struggling- let's lift each other up in prayer. Prayer is the answer to everything.

Pray with your kids. Inspire them by asking questions. Ask them to think of 3 great things that happened today and thank God for it. (It's ok if they say they love the blue sky- encourage them- God created that- it's beautiful as part of his creation- encourage them in the simple things- it's a start!) Praise God. Give him Thanks. Tell God if you are anxious about something. If you are worried or nervous. Also- be quick to apologize. They learn repentance from us. It softens the home when we are willing to admit we messed up or made a mistake.

Sorry for the long blog. There were just great notes from our time together. Again, hoping you can gain something from this. Let me know what you took away from the brunch!

One on One with Joanne Cole

We were privileged to host my Aunt Joanne at the last Capital MOMS brunch. She is a wife, mother of four, grandmother of one and our Women's Ministry Director. Talk about experience. She's got it. I don't think I'm speaking for myself when I say I walked away with some great goals and reminders! I hope if you weren't able to make it, that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

Here is a little recap from my perspective. If you attended and got something else I didn't include, please share! I love how God speaks to each of us in different ways through different people. 

What would you have done differently as a young MOM?
1. Take more time for yourself.
If you don't cut out the time for yourself, nobody else will. You need some alone time to keep sane. And when talking about alone time (this doesn't include 1 minute in the bathroom with kids banging on the door). Get a hobby. Find something that inspires you. Speaking for myself here, I forced myself to join a neighborhood bunco group that meets once a month for some me time. My husband agreed to the terms before I threw it upon him, but each Monday when I get to escape - I feel a little more peaceful. It doesn't hurt that I've taken home some extra cash almost every time too. Maybe that's God's way of telling me I'm doing the right thing by taking some time for ME.
~ Time for yourself even includes time with God. Don't set unrealistic goals. Try a Proverb a day. If today is August 2- read Proverbs 2. Proverbs is the book of wisdom. 

2. Laugh more! 
Not everything in life has to be serious. Yes, you are shaping your little kids minds and challenging them to grow each day, but it's ok to laugh in some moments that could make you cry. I loved Joanne's example about the rafting trip. (If you weren't there on Sunday, ask her to tell you sometime). Life goes by too fast to not find joy and humor in your kids. Even when they embarrass you, just laugh!

3. Give each other a break!
No one is called to be a mom to your child(ren) except you. Instead of judging another for their decision in raising a child, let's begin applauding each other. Let's affirm and encourage each other. 

4. Enjoy each space and phase of development.
Be present at each moment. Stay engaged. Love every moment, because before you know it, they will be graduating high school and college, moving out, and getting married. It's ok to look with excitement to the phases ahead, but once you are there, you can't ever get the past phase back. Know that every season ends. The season of infancy with exhaustion ends. The season with temper tantrums, the terrible 2's and 3's ends. So don't wish it away too fast. **Keep from being weary: You can do anything knowing it's temporary.

What do you feel you did RIGHT as a young MOM?
3 John 1:4  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Point to Note:
Strengths carried to an extreme can become a weakness 

1. Be generous with your time. 
Stay up late for those talks on their schedule. Play outside with them instead of laying on the couch. Take time to create an activity they would enjoy. Go to the park. Sign them up for a sport they would enjoy.  

2. Work hard at being consistent.
Their attitudes will line up with their actions. Character with conduct. Beliefs with behavior. Be consistent even if you feel like you are a nag. How many times did you feel your mom was ever a nag? Don't you respect her now?  Save "no" for what really matters. Say "yes" as much as you can.

3. Take the time to explain "why."
Use opportunities as they come as teaching opportunities. Know too- you don't always have to teach to be a consultant. Pushing in the right direction without forcing. Be honest and open. Kids thrive on honesty and relate to you when you are willing to relate to them.

4. Peace is a great indicator of being where you are supposed to be. 
If your home is chaotic, you just might be out of balance. When there is disruption in the home, it starts affecting attitudes. You can learn when to say "no" to outside things when your home isn't peaceful. 

I'm sure I'm missing something. Regardless, lessons were learned. Growth continues.

One on One with Linda Gordon

We had the pleasure of getting to chat one on one with Linda Gordon at our last Capital Moms Sunday brunch. I thought it would be easiest for me to highlight some of her points in this blog vs. trying to type out all my notes on our group page. I hope if you weren't able to make it, that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

I personally took away the theme for the morning by trying to sum it up into this one word "PRAY." I know that this word can seem daunting to some. Growing up in the Christian world my whole life, this word has probably been overused and it has become more of a "rule" than a desire. Also, I know those who are new to faith can look at it from the perspective of "where do I begin?" I think a light bulb clicked in my head when Linda said, "Rest in the fact that you have a RELATIONSHIP with the Lord. It's about your relationship verse making a routine or set aside time." Note: there are different seasons of life. Some seasons can call for routine. I'm in a season where I've got a 2 year old and a 6 month old. While I probably should have them on a routine by now, I don't...and I'm in the "trying to survive" phase of life. Don't get me wrong, I love every moment of survival, but getting up at 6am every morning for devotions just isn't happening.

Linda encouraged us to "Take off the guilt! Take off the how to's, the now to's and what your best friend is doing or what super mom is doing!" I love that fact. I always find it so freeing when I'm not comparing myself to others. What works for you? Do you feel close to the Lord? If not, maybe try something new that works for you. I think some of my best prayer times come when I journal. I don't know what it is, but I must like the action of actually writing things down (instead of getting lost in my head of what I have to do for that day). Journaling just helps me stay focused. Maybe, taking your kids for a walk to the park and talking to God works for you. The point is, do what works for you. Try something verses saying it's too difficult or there isn't enough time in the day. Linda said, "Sometimes it's pray as I go, and sometimes it's God tugging on my heart saying, come spend a little time with me now." I love that...it seems like whenever we take the time to be with God, we are refreshed and our day works a little better than it would've had we not got that time in. It's the constant renewing of our mind.


She suggested a couple tools for praying as well that I think we have listed before on the page. But just in case you missed that, pick up a copy of "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian or "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Both are great tools that give you verses to pray over your kids or husband by topics.

Linda reminded us that though we are moms, we were first wives. I loved this line she said she learned after 39 years of marriage, "I can tell him anything once before it becomes nagging. Nothing will improve your husbands hearing more than praise! Be grateful!" She also reminded us that men don't think like us. We need to always feel the freedom to ask our husbands for help! They might not know we need it. Swallow your pride and ask them to help in a few areas. We can remind them too, when we get their help, it frees us up to give "favors" back in return...(if you know what I mean)...

Well, there was so much more to the conversation. I wish I had taken some video...but in the moment I totally forgot. We are going to have to make a habit of doing these brunches with mentors. I left feeling encouraged and revitalized. It's always good to be in the presence of God!

I'll leave you with this video that she mentioned on the topic of "discipline." Even in nature it is natural to discipline...this mother polar bear sticks her baby cub on time out...

Let me know if you have any questions...or comment ladies if I missed something that really stuck out to you!

Enjoy!