Discipline & Needed Change

My sweet little love decided she was sick of preschool after being in her new class for a couple of months. She's too smart for her own good, and went on a two-week spring of acting out in order for me to get the "preschool suspension" phone call and have to come pick her up. After a couple parent-teacher conferences, we all were wracking our brains for various ways to halt this spree of "sad heart choices" and we came up with plans to work together. (If you are looking for parenting advice, you've come to the wrong spot. I'll share my experiences with you candidly, but I'm not sure you will want to duplicate all the failure along the way.)

In the midst of it all, I sought to find humor in the disturbances. You can't make up the kind of outbreaks that Izzy attempted in seeking havoc in her classroom. My stack of incident reports is going to have to be displayed in her wedding video montage at some point. Her teachers are saints. They truly love her and were trying all kinds of methods to get her to listen. She just wasn't going to have it, because her ultimate desire was to get out of class and spend time with me. She knew what it took to achieve her goal. Act out dramatically (see report). Sit in the principles office (which is a resort to her). Phone mom for an early pick up and get an extra day off due to bad behavior (the best kind of consequence a three-year old could come up with). Don't feel sad for us just yet, this story gets better.

I attempted to share my "real life" parenting mess with the general public for these reasons below:
1. It's quite humorous
2. I enjoyed people telling me "paybacks a $#87!"
3. Some actually suggested good ideas and solutions
4. Some just came along the pity party with me
5. It's quite humorous (again)

I guess you would say most people probably look at my life and surroundings and think I should have this parenting thing all figured out. The good news is, I can't fool any of you. Each kid is uniquely designed and with God's help and guidance, we are doing the best we can. If you've got parenting struggles, know that you aren't alone! It happens to the best of us!

As stated before, the story gets better. My sweet, sweet grandmother (Mary Ann Cole) is an angel here on this earth. After seeing a couple of my facebook posts and incident reports, she called my father with sadness. She didn't think Izzy was capable of such disrespectful behavior. My dad reassured her everything was ok (and that Izzy just isn't saved yet and reminded her of my childhood) and she did what any amazing grandmother would do; she started praying for my dear child. During her prayer time, God gave her a new creative idea (seriously God-breathed). She asked me if she could pick Izzy up a couple days a week around noon. She would give her some one-on-one time (Izzy's love language would be "quality time") and they could play together. I didn't even hesitate! That would be the perfect solution for my little cherub. She could give her the quality time that I couldn't (I'm a working mom- thank you Jesus!) and it would break up Izzy's week a little.

Needless to say, she's been faithfully investing in Iz for the last three months. They've gone to the salon together, Nordstrom, the grocery story, walks to the mailbox, puzzles galore, coloring and so much more. Since she's been picking her up, I haven't received one incident report. Not one. I can't thank my grandma enough for following God's leading. They've got a special relationship. It's the sweetest. I think God knows what each of us needs. When we ask, he always answers!

Crying in the Costco Bathroom Stall . . .

I have been told that I was a "strong-willed" child. I've also been told that entering into parenting my past faults would come back to haunt me. I guess you could say it's the circle of life or whatever, but the truth is, it's becoming my reality.

Sample Incident Report

Don't get me wrong, my children are amazing! They surprise me everyday with glimpses of hope. But I'm also in the trenches right now. I'm walking through the messy parenting stages of life with a 4 and 2 year old. I cross my fingers daily as I go to pick up Izzy from preschool that she hasn't had a rough day. My stack of incident reports is growing (the only competition is my sister-in-law with my niece Ella- ha). My parent-teacher conferences are getting scheduled more frequently. It's no joke. I'm in the trenches.

I'm sure you are wondering what this all has to do with crying in Costco- so here goes. My cute little family of four adventured to Costco on Saturday before heading to a few family and friend BBQ's last weekend. We had to pick up "the goods." We like to think we have our shopping trips mastered at this point. Joe grabbed a cart and stuck Judah in it. I grabbed another cart and stuck Izzy in it. Divide and conquer, right?! Well, everyone needed to stop for a potty break so we headed to the bathroom. And so it begins. . .

Izzy is smart. Izzy is potty trained. Izzy is independent. She opened a bathroom stall and proceeded to go potty all by herself. I headed to the stall next to her (TMI-sorry) rushing quickly to make sure she didn't have any escapades crawling between stalls (cause that has happened before) I was done and waiting for her to finish. She started taking her time and I was in a little hurry to get our shopping trip done. I knew for sure at this point the boys were so far ahead of us, that I knocked on her door and offered to help her get her pants up. She insisted that she could do it herself which was fine for the first minute that passed. But with the clock ticking, I opened her door to which she responded by screaming loudly in the echo-y bathroom. I continued by pulling up Izzy's pants and carrying her out of the stall to her dismay. Those in the restroom (and outside the restroom) heard her disappointment and frustration. To me, it wasn't that big of a deal (maybe it should have been?). Just a battle of the wills at this point and I was going to win.

Well, I take Izzy up to the sink to wash her hands and she's still upset, but I'm #winning. I guess not only was Izzy upset, but an older woman also became very upset that I wasn't doing anything to put Izzy in her place. Washing her hands next to me, she looks over and says "Aren't you going to do anything about that? You know there is something you can do!" (I'm guessing she's referring to "spanking" her). To which I turn and say, "Thank you," very kindly as to not enter an altercation.  She grabs paper towels on the other side of us and turns to Izzy and says "Brat." I think more than anything at this point I was kind of in shock. No words came out of my mouth. She continued to exit the restroom and then turned around back to me and said, "You know the only reason she is like this is because of you." Still in shock I said, "Thank you, you have been very helpful." And she walked out the door.

She then runs into Joe and asks, "Did you confiscate my cart?" To which he replies (not knowing any of what just went down inside) "No, but your husband confiscated our extra cart and moved down that direction." She muttered under her breath and walked away.

I actually did not end up crying in the bathroom stall (just thought it would be kind catchy) but I know plenty of young, tired moms (without much support) that easily could have ended up defeated and crying in a stall. I probably felt a little deflated, but I won my battle with Izzy (even though it wasn't a quiet win). I explained to Joe what took place and he laughed. He said, their home must be really lame and not filled with much life. I guess the husband was standing by Joe (after the husband confiscated our extra cart) and when Izzy uttered her first frustrated scream the man said "Jesus Christ" to which Joe replied, "No sir. It's not Jesus. It's just Izzy." The man then walked further down the lane to remove himself from the scene of the crime.

Well, I know I don't have parenting figured out. Seriously, I don't. My children don't always listen to me at my first request. Sometimes there are tears, timeouts, spankings (we actually do spank sometimes) but I do try to ask God for help along the way. I know that He has given me my kids for this time in history. I know that He has equipped me to be their mom. To win some battles of wills, but more importantly to teach them that Jesus loves them. That Jesus has created them to show love to those around us. That Jesus has blessed us, so we can in turn bless others. We are walking life out together. I just wish that the nice old lady could have looked at me instead and said "I've been there. Keep fighting the good fight. You've got this."

I hope my little story sparks something in you today! Don't be discouraged. You've got this! My little fighter (her name is Ireland people) is going to be something mighty! This will be a story I can tell her when she ventures into parenting and has one just like her. Good luck!

My everyday life.

My weekend of FIRSTS . . .

My week started off fairly normal. Then I learned that I was turning 29! Yep, that's right. I only have one year left before the BIG 30. I don't really feel freaked out though, cause I'm still told I look like a 16 year old...thanks mom for the baby face. Ha.

"First" number 1.
I turned 29. That's only going to happen once in my life. Yep. On March 31, I became a year older. Thanks to family for spoiling me, friends for all the facebook messages, and my kids for wanting to sing happy birthday over and over and eat sweet treats.

"First" number 2.

We got Judah his first big guy bike with training wheels. He thinks he is so cool. The first day was a little slow just learning how to peddle. But by the second day, you would've thought he'd been riding for months. He loves his new helmet, wears daddy's softball gloves (cause he thinks it makes him cooler), and wants to jump on and go up and down the street all day long. He's growing up too fast.

"First" number 3.

Ireland got to ride in a swing. It was so sweet. She loved every minute of it and Judah loved having the companion. I wish I had the picts to show you, which leads me to number 4.

"First" number 4.

I had to get a new phone because my mic on my old phone had a malfunction. Luckily it was covered under warranty. I thought I backed up my phone this morning before heading into apple, but forgot I had to manually sync my photos and videos because I have too much on my phone and need to go through and organize it all. I only lost 1 weeks worth of stuff...but it had both Judah learning to ride his bike, and Izzy's first swing ride on there...bummer I know...but we can capture it again and pretend it's the first time...=) Good news- I just remembered that I uploaded videos to youtube...(as you'll see above, I luckily have those 2 "firsts" still...no photos, just the videos) This is my fourth phone in about a 2-year span. Between Judah dropping it twice on tile, leaving it on my car and then watching it get run over after I realized where it was, I invested in an Otter Box Defender Case and haven't had any troubles with phones breaking! If you have kids, an Otter Box is definitely worth the investment! Maybe not too fashion forward, but Judah can play games on it, throw it across a room, and it's still brand new underneath the case...gotta love it. Available at REI.

Well, that's the majority of my firsts. But it was definitely an eventful week. And it will continue to be eventful as Easter approaches, and Joe's birthday is on April 10 too...so more celebrating is ahead! I love the spring. I love experiencing new things too. I like to keep my "everydays" interesting.

Till next time.