Crying in the Costco Bathroom Stall . . .

I have been told that I was a "strong-willed" child. I've also been told that entering into parenting my past faults would come back to haunt me. I guess you could say it's the circle of life or whatever, but the truth is, it's becoming my reality.

Sample Incident Report

Don't get me wrong, my children are amazing! They surprise me everyday with glimpses of hope. But I'm also in the trenches right now. I'm walking through the messy parenting stages of life with a 4 and 2 year old. I cross my fingers daily as I go to pick up Izzy from preschool that she hasn't had a rough day. My stack of incident reports is growing (the only competition is my sister-in-law with my niece Ella- ha). My parent-teacher conferences are getting scheduled more frequently. It's no joke. I'm in the trenches.

I'm sure you are wondering what this all has to do with crying in Costco- so here goes. My cute little family of four adventured to Costco on Saturday before heading to a few family and friend BBQ's last weekend. We had to pick up "the goods." We like to think we have our shopping trips mastered at this point. Joe grabbed a cart and stuck Judah in it. I grabbed another cart and stuck Izzy in it. Divide and conquer, right?! Well, everyone needed to stop for a potty break so we headed to the bathroom. And so it begins. . .

Izzy is smart. Izzy is potty trained. Izzy is independent. She opened a bathroom stall and proceeded to go potty all by herself. I headed to the stall next to her (TMI-sorry) rushing quickly to make sure she didn't have any escapades crawling between stalls (cause that has happened before) I was done and waiting for her to finish. She started taking her time and I was in a little hurry to get our shopping trip done. I knew for sure at this point the boys were so far ahead of us, that I knocked on her door and offered to help her get her pants up. She insisted that she could do it herself which was fine for the first minute that passed. But with the clock ticking, I opened her door to which she responded by screaming loudly in the echo-y bathroom. I continued by pulling up Izzy's pants and carrying her out of the stall to her dismay. Those in the restroom (and outside the restroom) heard her disappointment and frustration. To me, it wasn't that big of a deal (maybe it should have been?). Just a battle of the wills at this point and I was going to win.

Well, I take Izzy up to the sink to wash her hands and she's still upset, but I'm #winning. I guess not only was Izzy upset, but an older woman also became very upset that I wasn't doing anything to put Izzy in her place. Washing her hands next to me, she looks over and says "Aren't you going to do anything about that? You know there is something you can do!" (I'm guessing she's referring to "spanking" her). To which I turn and say, "Thank you," very kindly as to not enter an altercation.  She grabs paper towels on the other side of us and turns to Izzy and says "Brat." I think more than anything at this point I was kind of in shock. No words came out of my mouth. She continued to exit the restroom and then turned around back to me and said, "You know the only reason she is like this is because of you." Still in shock I said, "Thank you, you have been very helpful." And she walked out the door.

She then runs into Joe and asks, "Did you confiscate my cart?" To which he replies (not knowing any of what just went down inside) "No, but your husband confiscated our extra cart and moved down that direction." She muttered under her breath and walked away.

I actually did not end up crying in the bathroom stall (just thought it would be kind catchy) but I know plenty of young, tired moms (without much support) that easily could have ended up defeated and crying in a stall. I probably felt a little deflated, but I won my battle with Izzy (even though it wasn't a quiet win). I explained to Joe what took place and he laughed. He said, their home must be really lame and not filled with much life. I guess the husband was standing by Joe (after the husband confiscated our extra cart) and when Izzy uttered her first frustrated scream the man said "Jesus Christ" to which Joe replied, "No sir. It's not Jesus. It's just Izzy." The man then walked further down the lane to remove himself from the scene of the crime.

Well, I know I don't have parenting figured out. Seriously, I don't. My children don't always listen to me at my first request. Sometimes there are tears, timeouts, spankings (we actually do spank sometimes) but I do try to ask God for help along the way. I know that He has given me my kids for this time in history. I know that He has equipped me to be their mom. To win some battles of wills, but more importantly to teach them that Jesus loves them. That Jesus has created them to show love to those around us. That Jesus has blessed us, so we can in turn bless others. We are walking life out together. I just wish that the nice old lady could have looked at me instead and said "I've been there. Keep fighting the good fight. You've got this."

I hope my little story sparks something in you today! Don't be discouraged. You've got this! My little fighter (her name is Ireland people) is going to be something mighty! This will be a story I can tell her when she ventures into parenting and has one just like her. Good luck!

My everyday life.

MOPS Be You Bravely . . .

MOPS International announced their theme for 2014/15 not too long ago, and everyone is buzzing with excitement. It's a great follow up to A Beautiful Mess. We have wrote out our stories, we have dug down deep to find our callings and what we are good at; now, we get to live it BRAVELY!

Here are just a few graphics we created (with the help of the leaders idea board on mops.org).

Our leadership team is getting ready to start planning our retreat to get away this summer. We are excited about the future, and ready to live Bravely.

Download the PSD (photoshop) files for the images above here from Dropbox:
1. Facebook Cover: https://db.tt/8yRyNSOM
2. 5x7 Postcard Front Image: https://db.tt/ewOfXy4L
3. 5x7 Postcard Back Image: https://db.tt/pirDSx9q

hey mom, what's your story?

i can't even begin to let you all know how excited i am about MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) this year! with one year under our belt, we are feeling like things are all flowing in the right direction! our leadership team is amazing and unique, comprised of so many incredible woman with unique opinions but a couple things in common: 1. we all love jesus 2. we are all moms and have a passion to encourage, support, and live life with others, not going through motherhood alone!

so, here's my shameless plug, because it's what keeps me up and night and excited in my "spare time" that doesn't really exist.

each year MOPS international comes up with a theme. this year it's "A Beautiful Mess . . . Embrace your Story." Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Everyone has a story right? You probably know a little of mine if you follow my blog, and if  you join MOPS this year, you'll learn more than you ever really cared to know. Regardless, I want to know your story and there are several other moms waiting at your table to hear your's as well! 

our meetings are fun, refreshing, time to fill your bellies with an uninterrupted brunch, talk with other moms, and most importantly some time for yourself (which we know doesn't really happen anymore). we cover various topics from parenting, marriage, health, decor, etc and always leave time to create deeper relationships with those in the room.

check out our invite card

you can read more about the details and dates by clicking on the image or visiting our registration page, click here!

i could go on-and-on, but i'll spare you some curiosity. if you have any questions or want to get connected, comment here or email me at laine.alves@capitalonline.cc.

the first monday is coming up fast! save the date for september 9. i promise you won't leave the same way you came and you'll have lifetime friendships that will help you get through these early stages of parenting.

thanks for reading a little of my everyday life.

you can catch a previous post from last year with some photos of a MOPS meeting here.

Page 23 Vision

I can tend to ramble and give more info than needed, so if you want to get to the good stuff, skip down to "I stood at the Capital MOPS table" . . .

Our church just recently started a small group series called "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick. Joe and I agreed to lead a group this time around after hiding out as newlyweds and then wiped out parents. We both felt like we should at least attempt to make it work in our schedule and we found a group of other amazing people to join us!

So, why did I title this Page 23 Vision? Well, one of the chapters in the book talks about figuring out what your gifts, talents, skill sets, passions are in life and letting God lead you into the impossible with that vision. The author was moved to step up in life after reading a quote from a Jim Cymbala book. The quote was written on page 23. So it just stuck. See it here:

I guess you could say, I was moved and wanted to see God move mightily on my behalf too! I started thinking . . .

I'm in a place in my life right now where reaching young moms, and making sure they don't get isolated and try to live life on their own, is my vision. Having two little kids of my own, I've been on the fine line of going crazy a few times in my life. I'm blessed though, with an amazing family and friends to help me out in those moments of "crazy." Some of my "I'm going crazy and feel alone" moments led me to start Capital Moms. From there, we have ventured into Capital MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) and continue to try to be available for moms in their time of need. Disclaimer- I'm a little extreme in what I tend to pursue. If you are a young mom, even staying a home, that is YOUR calling. There is a line in the book where the author says being a stay-at-home mom is your page 23 vision, because you have been given the "gift of time" to teach, discipline, guide, direct your littles. YOUR calling is going to be different than mine (it could be similar-but you will never be me and I will never be you). God has wired each of us so intrinsically.

Moving on to the good stuff: I've been challenged to see what God could do "impossibly" through me as we have jumped into this study. Well, when you ask, He answers. Here is a little glimpse into God working on the "impossible" in my life:

I stood at our Capital MOPS table at the group life fair on a Sunday at church and was approached by a young new family with an incredible story. They had only come to Capital for about 2 weeks at that point without any church background and walked up to the front for prayer. The husband needed a job, prayed, and 2 days later, he was working as a mechanic at an auto store. They came to church the following week and went up for prayer (with great faith since it worked last time) and prayed to get into permanent/transitional housing from the shelter they were currently staying at. The mother was 9 months pregnant and due in 2 weeks at the time we spoke. They were asking me if I would be able to get them any baby items (as I was standing at the MOPS table) since they literally only had some clothes in their possession. I collected their contact info (cell number and email) and told them I would be in touch!

Fast forward 2 weeks, I posted a couple requests on facebook and slowly started collecting some items in my office at the church. I randomly was messaged on facebook by someone in our church asking if I new anyone that needed a crib. I said YES, and we arranged to get it delivered to my office. In the mean time, I attempted to call the cell number of this family and never got ahold of anyone. I emailed, and got no response. Regardless of not connecting back with them, I felt the need to still get all the baby items. On Saturday, April 13, God starting moving and making the impossible happen and I just kept saying yes. I stuck the crib in my office, grabbed the young families phone number again off my desk, and decided to call them on my way home. The husband answered the phone and with excitement told me his wife was in labor. They were going to have the baby any time now. Plus, he had keys to their new apartment and was willing to take anything! Talk about crazy timing.

From Saturday to Monday, with the help of MANY donors and support, my brother and I met the family at their new place with a truck load and car full of items to bless them with. From a kitchen table, chairs, rocking glider, crib, changing table, bedding, clothing, toys, books, dinner and much more, we stocked their place up. They literally came from the hospital to their place as a new family for the first time. (All of you moms imagine with me for a sec- going from a shelter to the hospital to have your baby and coming home with a new infant to a new apartment basically fully furnished. Only God!) Not only did we help them get settled in their home, but all of my MOPS mommies pitched in and arranged to bring meals to this family for 2 weeks.

This story is God showing up in my life. I've been blessed immensely to just walk through open doors using my skill set (as a mom) and my connections to help watch a young family see God for the first time and become real in practical ways. What's your skill set? Want to see God do some impossible things on your behalf? Just say YES!

To be continued . . . (cause there are more impossibilities happening and some photos too)

a little of this, a little of that

Realizing I'm far behind on my updates with my kids and my "everyday" self, I thought I could give a quick recap of the past couple of months surrounding some big highlights.

My Everyday Life (remember, I'm not that normal)

1. We got a new car. We traded in our Navigator and got a more "gas" friendly family car. So, I'm driving the Camry now and Joe upgraded to a Lexus. Enjoying life from a smaller vantage point and really enjoying my gas bill!

Not the best photo, but you get the point.

2. We booked a trip to Cabo! Celebrated our 5 year anniversary with an overnight in San Fran but going to really celebrate when we take to the skies for Cabo in May! Can't wait!!!

The all-inclusive resort we will be staying at

3. We got a new dining room table. Haven't eaten on it yet, but we LOVE it. We actually had it made by the Capital Kids Interns. We are slowly getting all the seating finished, but our dining room is finally coming together! I think we are going to invite those that helped us build it to eat on it first!

Thank you to ALL who helped make this happen!

4. MOPS is still in full swing. I love it! I just love helping moms not live life on their own when it's so easy in this crazy season of life to do. We are launching fundraisers and working together to get to MomCon in October too. Super excited to do life with some crazy women!

Mops Fundraiser- see raising money can be fun!

5. I just turned 30! AHH but really it felt like any other Easter day. I think post kids- birthdays just haven't really affected me much. Then again, I got completely spoiled by friends and family- and I'm just going to say it again because I can- we are going to Cabo! Celebrating it big in May!

Check out that Cabo view!

6. I've been on a semi-health kick. I say semi- because with the littles, it's kind of hard for me to commit completely. But I've been working out at least 3 times a week (which is better than nothing right?) and watching what I eat a little more cautiously . . . minus snacking off of my kids food- ha- that'll be the death of me.

Costco check out! 

7. Got to have a date night with all the adults in our fam! My parents are the best. They surprised us all and bought tickets to a show called Traces (super cool) and treated us to dinner. We just love hanging out with our fam sometimes without the kiddos. We are super spoiled. Love that our parents like hanging out with us still!

Love my fam!

8. Celebrated a few other family birthdays too (Ella, our niece, turned 2! Joe's dad & Mom also got just one year older, so did my Mom! Birthdays birthdays birthdays- love how they bring fam together)

Ella's Farm party

9. I've been spoiled by my husband just because. You see, his love language (primary- cause he scores almost even on all 5) is gift-giving. So in an attempt to help me look cute at the gym, I've been scoring Nike shoes and cute sweaters. I love that he loves to give- but I really need to get better at giving to him- cause just like he enjoys giving, he likes to receive too- ha! that's the only bummer about that love language (but it's really not a bummer) I'm just being weird. The real bummer is that he has expensive taste!

10. Work, Work and Work...I actually really LOVE going to work. We are on our 58th Issue of the Magazine (which I love!) Check out our pinterest board! I get to live life out with really cool people and try to solve the worlds problems with LOVE. No greater task than that.

I'm sure I'm leaving some fun things out, but really, my life is a crazy adventure! I love living it out with my little family of four! (and of course extended family and friends!) I do live it a little randomly. So my next goal is to actually create some goals and see how many I can accomplish through the rest of this year! I received these awesome Vision Cast questions to do with Joe from Jen Patin (our Threshold Young Married leaders). We will be going through them on our trip. But I was given permission to share with you all- cause I thought they were awesome starters for getting some goals.

Did I tell you I'm super excited about going to Cabo?

Anyways, just a little of this and a little of that. I could probably write an entire blog on each of the items above, but gotta move on to some new things...so just a quick update on my life.

LOVE!

MOMcon

So, I've never been one to travel across country for a convention. But, when getting a bunch of friends together, thinking about getting away from the "household" stuff for a few days, laughing, staying up too late, and learning a bunch of stuff that could make me a better wife, mom, friend, and just a better me- I couldn't resist.

The craziest part of the whole thing is, my husband didn't even seem to object. Seriously? Maybe it's because it's several months away, or maybe it's because he's just super supportive, or call it God prepared the way . . . but I'm super excited to jump on an airplane with old and new friends to explore what Mom Con is all about. That's what MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) titles it's convention. The craziest thing too is that this is our first year being introduced to MOPS and we are all in. I guess you can say we all have felt blessed, challenged and encouraged by what it offers.

Regardless, I'm packing my bags and going to start counting down the days (it's in October) for this life-changing experience. They have a great line up scheduled to celebrate 40 years of MOPS this year (Beth Moore, Lysa TerKeurst, Jen Hatmaker, etc). I love living real life out with other young moms. It's awesome to be able to share life's joys and struggles with each other! I know it's going to be life-changing for sure. We are taking "for sure" 5 moms from our leadership team, but the number is slowly going up.

If you want to learn more about what it's all about, check out their registration link here: MOPS.org. If you want to learn more about Capital MOPS and be apart of our amazing team, find us on facebook here: facebook.com/groups/capitalmops!

I've heard lots of excuses why people don't make it to events like this, but spend a day with some of my leaders (stay-at-home-moms & working-moms) and they will inspire you to find a way to get there. I'm using my birthday money this year to register because I know it's going to be a crazy fun experience.

Join us if you want to get away! The investment you make will make it all the more worth-while!

Grateful for MOPS . . .

Honestly, if you asked me a year ago, I never would have even considered attending a MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) group, let alone lead one. I guess you can say, God has bigger plans (if you believe in the spiritual stuff- which I do). I heard the name thrown around a few times here and there, but never took the time to really see what it was all about. That is until my aunt hooked me up with Elizabeth (who is very involved in a MOPS group at another local church) and she wanted to introduce Capital to this awesome organization and reach more moms with a deeper connection. I really believe our meeting opened my eyes to see things a little differently. Then, upon her invitation, I actually attended a meeting and really got something out of it.

My background with moms started when Judah was 6 months old and I had to get out of the house. I wanted friends that desired the same thing and thought maybe our kids could be friends, and then maybe we could talk about mom stuff and have an outlet for stir-crazy days. Capital MOMS was birthed at that time and since we have been going strong, yet hearing the need and desire for more mom time.

[There are a bunch of details I'm leaving out, cause I don't want to bore you- but all this to say- we are launched MOPS in September 2012]

I love the women I'm surrounded by! I love seeing God birth creativity and passion to reach moms with hope, deeper relationships, and making sure no one gets left behind. The PLUNGE them couldn't be more perfect for our semester launch either- because we are doing just that- we are diving in, all the way, submerging ourselves to gain a better understanding of God, taking some extra breaths (a little time away from our kids because there is childcare!), eating some good food, and going deep with moms in our community (not just at Capital- we want to reach moms everywhere who need the break and encouragement)!

We are close to wrapping up our first semester and I'm already in awe at what God has accomplished. I see friendships being made, I see posts on Facebook about playdates that never would have occurred before, I hear about mentor moms speaking life to specific needs of moms at every table - I see laughter, joy and hope for better days ahead!

Even on those days when I feel wiped out, walking into a room full of women at various breaking points on their own journey's reminds me all over again why we do what we do.

Photos courtesy of lovemarriagebabynap.blogspot.com

Today, looking ahead to this week of Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for MOPS and for our leadership team that has Plunged with me to make a difference in our community. I'm grateful that moms trust us with their time and children and show up each week. I'm thankful.

God is way bigger than my dreams, he is the creator of them!