Discipline & Needed Change

My sweet little love decided she was sick of preschool after being in her new class for a couple of months. She's too smart for her own good, and went on a two-week spring of acting out in order for me to get the "preschool suspension" phone call and have to come pick her up. After a couple parent-teacher conferences, we all were wracking our brains for various ways to halt this spree of "sad heart choices" and we came up with plans to work together. (If you are looking for parenting advice, you've come to the wrong spot. I'll share my experiences with you candidly, but I'm not sure you will want to duplicate all the failure along the way.)

In the midst of it all, I sought to find humor in the disturbances. You can't make up the kind of outbreaks that Izzy attempted in seeking havoc in her classroom. My stack of incident reports is going to have to be displayed in her wedding video montage at some point. Her teachers are saints. They truly love her and were trying all kinds of methods to get her to listen. She just wasn't going to have it, because her ultimate desire was to get out of class and spend time with me. She knew what it took to achieve her goal. Act out dramatically (see report). Sit in the principles office (which is a resort to her). Phone mom for an early pick up and get an extra day off due to bad behavior (the best kind of consequence a three-year old could come up with). Don't feel sad for us just yet, this story gets better.

I attempted to share my "real life" parenting mess with the general public for these reasons below:
1. It's quite humorous
2. I enjoyed people telling me "paybacks a $#87!"
3. Some actually suggested good ideas and solutions
4. Some just came along the pity party with me
5. It's quite humorous (again)

I guess you would say most people probably look at my life and surroundings and think I should have this parenting thing all figured out. The good news is, I can't fool any of you. Each kid is uniquely designed and with God's help and guidance, we are doing the best we can. If you've got parenting struggles, know that you aren't alone! It happens to the best of us!

As stated before, the story gets better. My sweet, sweet grandmother (Mary Ann Cole) is an angel here on this earth. After seeing a couple of my facebook posts and incident reports, she called my father with sadness. She didn't think Izzy was capable of such disrespectful behavior. My dad reassured her everything was ok (and that Izzy just isn't saved yet and reminded her of my childhood) and she did what any amazing grandmother would do; she started praying for my dear child. During her prayer time, God gave her a new creative idea (seriously God-breathed). She asked me if she could pick Izzy up a couple days a week around noon. She would give her some one-on-one time (Izzy's love language would be "quality time") and they could play together. I didn't even hesitate! That would be the perfect solution for my little cherub. She could give her the quality time that I couldn't (I'm a working mom- thank you Jesus!) and it would break up Izzy's week a little.

Needless to say, she's been faithfully investing in Iz for the last three months. They've gone to the salon together, Nordstrom, the grocery story, walks to the mailbox, puzzles galore, coloring and so much more. Since she's been picking her up, I haven't received one incident report. Not one. I can't thank my grandma enough for following God's leading. They've got a special relationship. It's the sweetest. I think God knows what each of us needs. When we ask, he always answers!

Fire Station Playroom {Christmas 2012}

Hoping you all had an amazing Christmas! I actually ended up with a horrible cold right alongside Izzy, but we made it through and had a great time spending the holidays with family.

Our Christmas revolved around the "Fireman" theme yet again. We thought maybe our little man Judah would focus in on a new subject matter by now, but it's just not the case. We are living in a constant world of "emergencies." There is always a fire to be put out, a rescue mission to be conducted, a paramedic that needs to give a hurt person some attention, you name it- we are on call 24/7.

We got majorily (I know it's not a word) spoiled this Christmas. Judah's dreams came true with his new fireman gear costume, water tank, fire car, and fireman pole (Don't worry- not all of it was from us, we clued the grandparents into what was on our little man's wish list).

Through a little Pinterest perusing and some Busy Kids inspiration- I got a new vision for our playroom (It's probably about the 4th time we have re-done our playroom and I have a feeling that number is going to keep going up). I often find it hard to want to "play" in our playroom because it always felt like there were toys everywhere and we had no order to our madness. I'm so grateful for other geniuses out there who help solve my problems by giving me some structure (which I tend to lack- I'm a free spirit kind of person). So, I took what we already had, an amazing room, and decided to organize it. Wanna guess what we organized it to be? You're right! A FIRE STATION! And let me tell you, this fire station has been in use since the plan began to unfold. I so wish I had taken better before and after pictures- but I'll give you some of the afters in a second. It's still in Phase 1 of becoming a "cute" fire station, but it's a working one none-the-less.

We created a climbing area from an old slide (still looking for a cheap ladder) which leads Fireman Judah up to his bunk. We got a crib mattress and a pillow up on the window sill which created a great fireman bed and also will be used for a reading nook as he gets older (the visions in my head). Then, we ran into a store manager at Lowe's who dreamed with us and gave us all the tools needed to create a fire pole that he could slide down. (If you are interested in those building materials- comment below and I can write a post on those- it's super simple and cheap- but don't want to waste the time explaining if nobody wants that info.) You have to see him live in action here:

Next, we cleaned out the storage of my crafts/wrapping paper and junk from our wardrobe area, and we placed all fire equipment, gear, costumes, trucks and gadgets hidden away for him to access during emergencies. This way too- he's got a place for ALL fire stuff- it doesn't randomly disappear across the room and he's very serious about keeping it organized- because fire guys always put their stuff back in their "garages."

We moved our play kitchen over near the "garage." You must know that fireman have kitchens at their stations. Our play kitchen is now the fire station kitchen and I get served some great meals from there. Our TV and sitting area is now the common area where the firemen can relax while waiting for an emergency, etc. You get the point right? The best part of it all, we have purpose in the playroom. The toys are getting played with and stuck back where they belong before moving to the next thing. It's seriously a Christmas miracle. It's working out great for our little family.

Our little Izzy loves being outside and with the new "fire truck" (it was the cheapest motorized car we could find for Judah's big gift) we get lots of playtime outside riding around our street and Izz has learned to ride Judah's little three-wheeler car too (she got other toys for Christmas too- don't worry- but she still is in the go-with-the-flow phase of life). Izzy is Judah's right-hand-girl. She'll become whatever he wants her to be at the moment (fireman, paramedic, person needing rescue, etc) with no complaint.

If you are ever bored and need to spend some time at a fire station, come on over. Judah will tell you what to do. He's great at that.

Here's to a New Year with lots more "rescues" to be had.

Just in case you need a little more of this cute little fireman:

One on One with Linda Gordon

We had the pleasure of getting to chat one on one with Linda Gordon at our last Capital Moms Sunday brunch. I thought it would be easiest for me to highlight some of her points in this blog vs. trying to type out all my notes on our group page. I hope if you weren't able to make it, that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

I personally took away the theme for the morning by trying to sum it up into this one word "PRAY." I know that this word can seem daunting to some. Growing up in the Christian world my whole life, this word has probably been overused and it has become more of a "rule" than a desire. Also, I know those who are new to faith can look at it from the perspective of "where do I begin?" I think a light bulb clicked in my head when Linda said, "Rest in the fact that you have a RELATIONSHIP with the Lord. It's about your relationship verse making a routine or set aside time." Note: there are different seasons of life. Some seasons can call for routine. I'm in a season where I've got a 2 year old and a 6 month old. While I probably should have them on a routine by now, I don't...and I'm in the "trying to survive" phase of life. Don't get me wrong, I love every moment of survival, but getting up at 6am every morning for devotions just isn't happening.

Linda encouraged us to "Take off the guilt! Take off the how to's, the now to's and what your best friend is doing or what super mom is doing!" I love that fact. I always find it so freeing when I'm not comparing myself to others. What works for you? Do you feel close to the Lord? If not, maybe try something new that works for you. I think some of my best prayer times come when I journal. I don't know what it is, but I must like the action of actually writing things down (instead of getting lost in my head of what I have to do for that day). Journaling just helps me stay focused. Maybe, taking your kids for a walk to the park and talking to God works for you. The point is, do what works for you. Try something verses saying it's too difficult or there isn't enough time in the day. Linda said, "Sometimes it's pray as I go, and sometimes it's God tugging on my heart saying, come spend a little time with me now." I love that...it seems like whenever we take the time to be with God, we are refreshed and our day works a little better than it would've had we not got that time in. It's the constant renewing of our mind.


She suggested a couple tools for praying as well that I think we have listed before on the page. But just in case you missed that, pick up a copy of "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian or "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Both are great tools that give you verses to pray over your kids or husband by topics.

Linda reminded us that though we are moms, we were first wives. I loved this line she said she learned after 39 years of marriage, "I can tell him anything once before it becomes nagging. Nothing will improve your husbands hearing more than praise! Be grateful!" She also reminded us that men don't think like us. We need to always feel the freedom to ask our husbands for help! They might not know we need it. Swallow your pride and ask them to help in a few areas. We can remind them too, when we get their help, it frees us up to give "favors" back in return...(if you know what I mean)...

Well, there was so much more to the conversation. I wish I had taken some video...but in the moment I totally forgot. We are going to have to make a habit of doing these brunches with mentors. I left feeling encouraged and revitalized. It's always good to be in the presence of God!

I'll leave you with this video that she mentioned on the topic of "discipline." Even in nature it is natural to discipline...this mother polar bear sticks her baby cub on time out...

Let me know if you have any questions...or comment ladies if I missed something that really stuck out to you!

Enjoy!

Killing Time with Treats . . .

I'm addicted to sweet treats. I guess it's a family addiction that my mother passed down to us kids, and I haven't had the heart to break it. There is something about the car and movies (not really TV for me) that really brings it out in me too. I'm not sure if it's a boredom thing or what, but it's hard for me to go on the road without having something to snack on.

So, it's a bad habit that naturally I'm starting early with Judah. It really started just to keep him quiet. My mom told me this old trick she did with me as a kid- when we would be out for family dinners, they would hand me a wrapped tootsie roll and I would eat through the paper to get to the chocolate, but it kept me quiet for the extent needed (funny thing is- chocolate really doesn't do much for me now). During cheer practice, to keep Judah occupied, we would give him suckers...it was the only thing that would keep him on my lap and quiet so I could watch the routine - again, a bad addiction that I'm willingly passing along.

Now, we are in the habit (partially because I'm pregnant and like to snack even more) of getting treats on the car ride home from daycare. It's about a 30 minute drive home (with traffic) 3 days a week, so I have to keep the kid entertained. I'm sure the dentist is going to kill me (but I actually have pretty good teeth and I ate lots of candy growing up). All of my siblings have had good teeth too- maybe a few cavities, but never braces or any expensive dental work...so I'm kind of banking on that...(cross my fingers).

I'm starting to sound like it's a daily habit of eating junk food (which isn't the case at all)...Judah's favorite thing to eat is chicken and fruit (and occasional french fries). If I put candy and a strawberry next to each other though, he would pick the strawberry over the candy in a heart beat. So, don't get me wrong...I'm not trying to raise my kid on junk food, but I believe in simple treats. Maybe I'll blame it on my lifestyle as well. I'm not a super "routine" person so little treats here and there on-the-go just make me feel happy.

Really, my weakness is candy! In college we always had Swedish Fish and Peppermint Patties (shout out to Kristi) in a bowl on our table. Now, if I were to walk in a gas station or dollar store (some of the best candy) I would lean towards: Hot Tamales, Good N Plenty's, Sour Patch Kids, Sweetarts & Mike N Ikes (for my husband), Sour Watermelons, Sour Patch Straws, Peachy O's, Big Spoon, Goobers (for my dad and me), Laffy Taffy and the list could go on and on, but I'll stop now cause I'm thinking about getting in my car in this massive storm to run to the store...haha!

I didn't really have anything profound to talk about today- but I have a super cute video of Judah enjoying his car ride treats. Don't think of me as a bad mom (busy mom maybe)...but if you hung out with us for a week, you would understand that it's not as much of a bad habit as I'm making it sound, more of a guilty pleasure. Maybe I'll change my mindset after I'm done having kids and need my pre-prego body back- but for now, I'm indulging in the goodness of candy...=) {for those of you dieting out there- to discourage you for breaking into a bad habit- I've heard it said before- "Is eating that one M&M really worth a lump of cellulite on your booty cheek?" so stop with the bad thoughts now!}

What's your guilty pleasure?

Also, let me know if you think I'm starting a bad habit too early in Judah's life and need to kick it now! I like interesting conversations! Tell me if you completely disagree!

PS- Come over to my house tomorrow! It's S'mores Night with Capital MOMS!

Enjoy my cute {everyday laine} video of Judah and his sweet treats!

getting out of the house with Capital MOMS

Part of my job at Capital (I work at Capital Christian Center) is to have a date (coffee/lunch) with new people who are looking to get connected at the church. In the first month of doing these dates, I was getting asked over-and-over again if we had a MOMS group. My answer at the time was no. But it got me to thinking...why don't we have a group? is it that hard to run a group? should i start a MOMS group since i'm a young mother of a 7 month old (at the time)?

I'm so grateful to say that we launched our MOMS group in June of 2010. Since then, we have had TONS of outings and made great friendships along the way. The whole goal was to be somewhat of a support system for MOMS and also an open door and connection point for new people to the church. We still have tons of room to grow in how we do things, but I've loved the journey so far.

I'm also grateful to say that I don't have to do it alone! I have a great support system and team of leaders who help make the load light! We divide up months of responsibility and have a blast at our planning meetings. Our goal is to do 1 event a week. Most MOMS do work, but we have several stay-at-home moms too. We break it up like this: 1 free event, 1 paid-for event, 1 art/craft at the church, 1 MOMS only outing, and every-once-in-a-while a family outing. It tends to work pretty good. I'm a working mom and wish I could make it to every event, but i can't. Luckily, we are able to do a lot of events on Mondays/Fridays which help in my case. But all the good deals for MOMS tend to be on Tuesdays/Thursdays...I guess you just do the best with what you can.

We launched the group all on FACEBOOK. It has worked perfectly for us. We post events, photos, pictures, and discussion groups. Most young moms these days are on Facebook, so naturally it was an easy starting point.

We are always looking for new fun ideas and ways to stay creative and keep our kids wanting more. If you have a fun idea, please comment below! A new thing I'm super excited about is an upcoming event called" Coupon Craze, Infatables, & CBS 13 News!" That's right...we are getting featured on CBS 13 News. I think God seriously gave us this idea and team of young MOMS to reach out in our community. Going on fun outings and talking about our kids is such an easy entry point into talking and inviting new people to church. It has been an absolute JOY for me and Judah of course (he loves every event! he just loves getting out of the house in general- another reason we started the group)...=)

Check out our pictures on facebook (and recently our videos too- thanks to my husband for my flip) If you know of anybody in the Sacramento area that is looking for friends...point them our direction!

Also, if you need help in starting your own MOMS group...we have great tips and suggestions. Comment below and I'll connect with you!

Here is a video of our latest outing: