One on One with Mary Jacobs

We were privileged to host Mary Jacobs at the last Capital MOMS brunch. She is a wife, mother of three, and a teacher at Capital Christian High School. Talk about experience. She's got it. I don't think I'm speaking for myself when I say I walked away with some great goals and reminders! I hope (if you weren't able to make it) that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

Psalm 13
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

Sometimes being a mother of little babies/preschoolers can feel lonely. We have to choose to believe the Word of the Lord. We can get stuck in a cycle of "assumicide" or "presumiscide"- presuming things about others and it just kills/drains us. We don't know what's going on in the lives of our friends. Don't live life alone. When we catch ourselves going down that road, grab a friend and God's word and begin to pray the scripture. We need freedom (and have to give the freedom to others) to not be perfect. You will have more freedom when you aren't comparing yourself to another. The way to get back on track is through prayer and time with God. Even if you're prayer conversations sound like this sometimes:

Interesting Conversation with God.Author- Unknown, from a forwarded email (Mary says sorry she can't find the author's name)

Me: God, can I ask you a question?
God: Sure.
Me: Promise you won't get mad?
God: I promise.
Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late.
God: Yes.
Me: My car took forever to start.
God: Okay.
Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.
God: Hmmm.
Me: On the way home my phone went dead just as I picked up a call.
God: Okay.
Me: And on top of all that, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
God: Well, let me see. The Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me: (humbled): OH...
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The person who made your first sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what he has.
I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me: (embarrassed): Ok...
God: Your phone went dead because the person who was calling was going to give false witness about what you said during that call. I didn't even let you talk to them so that you would be covered.
Me: (softly) I see, God.
God: Oh, and that foot massager had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm sorry God.
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me in all things, the good and the bad.
Me: I will trust you.
God: And don't doubt that MY plan for your day is always better than your plan.
Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
God: You're welcome, child. It was just another day being your God, and I love looking after my children.

Mary shared about her experience with her daughter (now almost 29) being diagnosed at 2 1/2 years old with leukemia while being pregnant with her second child on the way. How do you handle a situation like that? She explained how she was just grateful that she knew God. She remembers sitting on her mom's couch and crying and just thanking God that she knew Him already- because He would carry her through this situation. (I'm not so sure I would have reacted the same way??) She asked the question- Who's kids are they? They are God's. Laura is still an amazing testimony of God's grace, miracles, and His strength. She battled 2 brain tumors this summer and recovered well and is teaching at the preschool. You would never know or guess her struggles - but God is greater. God has carried their family through. Reminds me to be grateful for God's blessings and thank Him daily for good health!

We have the ability to parent from a place of FEAR or from a place of VICTORY. When we parent with victory, there is much more freedom, less tension and joy!  

We also must remember to cultivate the fruits of the spirit in our own lives. We can't say "be kind" to our kids while we are constantly nagging our husbands. We have to practice what we are teaching. We can't make our kids love Jesus. We have to be real and live it our inf front of them. When we live from a place of love, joy, peace, patience . . . they will want to experience what we have.

Above all, we need HIM (period) to live. Pray the scripture over yourself and your kids. You are praying the will of God over them when you prays scripture- because it's HIS Word. Not only should we pray for our own kids, we need to be loving and praying for our friends children as well. God gave the example of leaving the 99 for the 1 who was struggling- it's the same with us today. When we see someone struggling- let's lift each other up in prayer. Prayer is the answer to everything.

Pray with your kids. Inspire them by asking questions. Ask them to think of 3 great things that happened today and thank God for it. (It's ok if they say they love the blue sky- encourage them- God created that- it's beautiful as part of his creation- encourage them in the simple things- it's a start!) Praise God. Give him Thanks. Tell God if you are anxious about something. If you are worried or nervous. Also- be quick to apologize. They learn repentance from us. It softens the home when we are willing to admit we messed up or made a mistake.

Sorry for the long blog. There were just great notes from our time together. Again, hoping you can gain something from this. Let me know what you took away from the brunch!

One on One with Joanne Cole

We were privileged to host my Aunt Joanne at the last Capital MOMS brunch. She is a wife, mother of four, grandmother of one and our Women's Ministry Director. Talk about experience. She's got it. I don't think I'm speaking for myself when I say I walked away with some great goals and reminders! I hope if you weren't able to make it, that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

Here is a little recap from my perspective. If you attended and got something else I didn't include, please share! I love how God speaks to each of us in different ways through different people. 

What would you have done differently as a young MOM?
1. Take more time for yourself.
If you don't cut out the time for yourself, nobody else will. You need some alone time to keep sane. And when talking about alone time (this doesn't include 1 minute in the bathroom with kids banging on the door). Get a hobby. Find something that inspires you. Speaking for myself here, I forced myself to join a neighborhood bunco group that meets once a month for some me time. My husband agreed to the terms before I threw it upon him, but each Monday when I get to escape - I feel a little more peaceful. It doesn't hurt that I've taken home some extra cash almost every time too. Maybe that's God's way of telling me I'm doing the right thing by taking some time for ME.
~ Time for yourself even includes time with God. Don't set unrealistic goals. Try a Proverb a day. If today is August 2- read Proverbs 2. Proverbs is the book of wisdom. 

2. Laugh more! 
Not everything in life has to be serious. Yes, you are shaping your little kids minds and challenging them to grow each day, but it's ok to laugh in some moments that could make you cry. I loved Joanne's example about the rafting trip. (If you weren't there on Sunday, ask her to tell you sometime). Life goes by too fast to not find joy and humor in your kids. Even when they embarrass you, just laugh!

3. Give each other a break!
No one is called to be a mom to your child(ren) except you. Instead of judging another for their decision in raising a child, let's begin applauding each other. Let's affirm and encourage each other. 

4. Enjoy each space and phase of development.
Be present at each moment. Stay engaged. Love every moment, because before you know it, they will be graduating high school and college, moving out, and getting married. It's ok to look with excitement to the phases ahead, but once you are there, you can't ever get the past phase back. Know that every season ends. The season of infancy with exhaustion ends. The season with temper tantrums, the terrible 2's and 3's ends. So don't wish it away too fast. **Keep from being weary: You can do anything knowing it's temporary.

What do you feel you did RIGHT as a young MOM?
3 John 1:4  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Point to Note:
Strengths carried to an extreme can become a weakness 

1. Be generous with your time. 
Stay up late for those talks on their schedule. Play outside with them instead of laying on the couch. Take time to create an activity they would enjoy. Go to the park. Sign them up for a sport they would enjoy.  

2. Work hard at being consistent.
Their attitudes will line up with their actions. Character with conduct. Beliefs with behavior. Be consistent even if you feel like you are a nag. How many times did you feel your mom was ever a nag? Don't you respect her now?  Save "no" for what really matters. Say "yes" as much as you can.

3. Take the time to explain "why."
Use opportunities as they come as teaching opportunities. Know too- you don't always have to teach to be a consultant. Pushing in the right direction without forcing. Be honest and open. Kids thrive on honesty and relate to you when you are willing to relate to them.

4. Peace is a great indicator of being where you are supposed to be. 
If your home is chaotic, you just might be out of balance. When there is disruption in the home, it starts affecting attitudes. You can learn when to say "no" to outside things when your home isn't peaceful. 

I'm sure I'm missing something. Regardless, lessons were learned. Growth continues.

One on One with Linda Gordon

We had the pleasure of getting to chat one on one with Linda Gordon at our last Capital Moms Sunday brunch. I thought it would be easiest for me to highlight some of her points in this blog vs. trying to type out all my notes on our group page. I hope if you weren't able to make it, that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

I personally took away the theme for the morning by trying to sum it up into this one word "PRAY." I know that this word can seem daunting to some. Growing up in the Christian world my whole life, this word has probably been overused and it has become more of a "rule" than a desire. Also, I know those who are new to faith can look at it from the perspective of "where do I begin?" I think a light bulb clicked in my head when Linda said, "Rest in the fact that you have a RELATIONSHIP with the Lord. It's about your relationship verse making a routine or set aside time." Note: there are different seasons of life. Some seasons can call for routine. I'm in a season where I've got a 2 year old and a 6 month old. While I probably should have them on a routine by now, I don't...and I'm in the "trying to survive" phase of life. Don't get me wrong, I love every moment of survival, but getting up at 6am every morning for devotions just isn't happening.

Linda encouraged us to "Take off the guilt! Take off the how to's, the now to's and what your best friend is doing or what super mom is doing!" I love that fact. I always find it so freeing when I'm not comparing myself to others. What works for you? Do you feel close to the Lord? If not, maybe try something new that works for you. I think some of my best prayer times come when I journal. I don't know what it is, but I must like the action of actually writing things down (instead of getting lost in my head of what I have to do for that day). Journaling just helps me stay focused. Maybe, taking your kids for a walk to the park and talking to God works for you. The point is, do what works for you. Try something verses saying it's too difficult or there isn't enough time in the day. Linda said, "Sometimes it's pray as I go, and sometimes it's God tugging on my heart saying, come spend a little time with me now." I love that...it seems like whenever we take the time to be with God, we are refreshed and our day works a little better than it would've had we not got that time in. It's the constant renewing of our mind.


She suggested a couple tools for praying as well that I think we have listed before on the page. But just in case you missed that, pick up a copy of "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian or "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Both are great tools that give you verses to pray over your kids or husband by topics.

Linda reminded us that though we are moms, we were first wives. I loved this line she said she learned after 39 years of marriage, "I can tell him anything once before it becomes nagging. Nothing will improve your husbands hearing more than praise! Be grateful!" She also reminded us that men don't think like us. We need to always feel the freedom to ask our husbands for help! They might not know we need it. Swallow your pride and ask them to help in a few areas. We can remind them too, when we get their help, it frees us up to give "favors" back in return...(if you know what I mean)...

Well, there was so much more to the conversation. I wish I had taken some video...but in the moment I totally forgot. We are going to have to make a habit of doing these brunches with mentors. I left feeling encouraged and revitalized. It's always good to be in the presence of God!

I'll leave you with this video that she mentioned on the topic of "discipline." Even in nature it is natural to discipline...this mother polar bear sticks her baby cub on time out...

Let me know if you have any questions...or comment ladies if I missed something that really stuck out to you!

Enjoy!