One on One with Joanne Cole

We were privileged to host my Aunt Joanne at the last Capital MOMS brunch. She is a wife, mother of four, grandmother of one and our Women's Ministry Director. Talk about experience. She's got it. I don't think I'm speaking for myself when I say I walked away with some great goals and reminders! I hope if you weren't able to make it, that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

Here is a little recap from my perspective. If you attended and got something else I didn't include, please share! I love how God speaks to each of us in different ways through different people. 

What would you have done differently as a young MOM?
1. Take more time for yourself.
If you don't cut out the time for yourself, nobody else will. You need some alone time to keep sane. And when talking about alone time (this doesn't include 1 minute in the bathroom with kids banging on the door). Get a hobby. Find something that inspires you. Speaking for myself here, I forced myself to join a neighborhood bunco group that meets once a month for some me time. My husband agreed to the terms before I threw it upon him, but each Monday when I get to escape - I feel a little more peaceful. It doesn't hurt that I've taken home some extra cash almost every time too. Maybe that's God's way of telling me I'm doing the right thing by taking some time for ME.
~ Time for yourself even includes time with God. Don't set unrealistic goals. Try a Proverb a day. If today is August 2- read Proverbs 2. Proverbs is the book of wisdom. 

2. Laugh more! 
Not everything in life has to be serious. Yes, you are shaping your little kids minds and challenging them to grow each day, but it's ok to laugh in some moments that could make you cry. I loved Joanne's example about the rafting trip. (If you weren't there on Sunday, ask her to tell you sometime). Life goes by too fast to not find joy and humor in your kids. Even when they embarrass you, just laugh!

3. Give each other a break!
No one is called to be a mom to your child(ren) except you. Instead of judging another for their decision in raising a child, let's begin applauding each other. Let's affirm and encourage each other. 

4. Enjoy each space and phase of development.
Be present at each moment. Stay engaged. Love every moment, because before you know it, they will be graduating high school and college, moving out, and getting married. It's ok to look with excitement to the phases ahead, but once you are there, you can't ever get the past phase back. Know that every season ends. The season of infancy with exhaustion ends. The season with temper tantrums, the terrible 2's and 3's ends. So don't wish it away too fast. **Keep from being weary: You can do anything knowing it's temporary.

What do you feel you did RIGHT as a young MOM?
3 John 1:4  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Point to Note:
Strengths carried to an extreme can become a weakness 

1. Be generous with your time. 
Stay up late for those talks on their schedule. Play outside with them instead of laying on the couch. Take time to create an activity they would enjoy. Go to the park. Sign them up for a sport they would enjoy.  

2. Work hard at being consistent.
Their attitudes will line up with their actions. Character with conduct. Beliefs with behavior. Be consistent even if you feel like you are a nag. How many times did you feel your mom was ever a nag? Don't you respect her now?  Save "no" for what really matters. Say "yes" as much as you can.

3. Take the time to explain "why."
Use opportunities as they come as teaching opportunities. Know too- you don't always have to teach to be a consultant. Pushing in the right direction without forcing. Be honest and open. Kids thrive on honesty and relate to you when you are willing to relate to them.

4. Peace is a great indicator of being where you are supposed to be. 
If your home is chaotic, you just might be out of balance. When there is disruption in the home, it starts affecting attitudes. You can learn when to say "no" to outside things when your home isn't peaceful. 

I'm sure I'm missing something. Regardless, lessons were learned. Growth continues.

Big Boy Undies!

It's time I officially post about my grown up boy! We are completely potty-trained and wearing big boy undies (I say "we" because I feel like I played a little part- but you do realize I've been trained for a while now - ha).  I have to say the truth "when they are ready, they're ready" could never have been more TRUE in our case.

We have had Judah in a potty-training class at preschool since he was 2 (cause they have to be in that class to be apart of school) so he's been exposed to it 3 days a week for a while now- but they don't force your kid to take part till they are ready. I attempted 2 off-weekends of potty training that ended up pretty much unsuccessful because he wasn't ready, and we didn't like being bound at home - plus I didn't want the fight. The first weekend, Judah found places to potty in our house and blamed it on a dog we don't own.  The second, was just an extra load of laundry.

Then, one day around 4th of July weekend he said, "Mom- I've got to go pee. Then, Mom - I've got to go poop." (sorry for the potty talk, but it becomes very normal when you have a 2 year old). And from there on out- he just told me every time, and we haven't had any accidents. Seriously- it was just like it clicked and he decided he wanted to wear big boy undies forever. He's got an amazing bladder that lasts through naps and bedtime. So we are totally saving some money month-to-month now. If you know me, I love to be out-and-about...and he has mastered going potty in restaurants, malls, libraries, starbucks- you get the point- he can go wherever there is a potty!

We did a couple shopping trips for specific "fireman" undies (which are boxer briefs and he thinks they are shorts and wants to wear them in public- he literally laid down on the cement outside the store and begged me to put them on- I so wish I had a photo of that moment! luckily we had matching pjs we convinced him to put on top) and my favorite undies, gap kids (outlets always have great deals- they just wash really well, fit good, and last a whole lot longer- if you were looking for my 2 cents).

Yep- I'm bragging about my kid. He's 2 1/2 (will be 3 in October) and we accomplished a major feet without much work. If you want my advice, don't fight them, just wait till they are ready! (I'm no parenting pro though- we'll see how Izzy does).

My everydays just got a little easier. It's less work using the potty than changing diapers all the time. No more kicking feet! I've got a grown up little man. Time is flying by. On to the next thing.

Fireman Judah to the rescue . . .

I find it funny how kids go through various themes in life. Judah is so attached to one particular theme at a time. You all know him as my laundry lover, and it's true still, but the passion has faded. Then he became my tractor kid. Then he became my baseball kid. Now, he's my fireman.

Everything can turn into a fire station at any moment. Any object that is long and skinny now becomes a fire pole (pipe cleaners, a clarinet recorder). Any shape that is short and round is now a fire hydrant. Hats are fire helmets. The library only consists of fireman movies and firetruck books. I have to say I love this moment in time. I thrive on his obsessions and his creative imagination. It can make bribery simple or really complex. 

We are attempting potty training again at his will. And his end goal is a new fire station to play with. It's a new motivation. He's starting to request fire stuff over baseball stuff for his coming of age (turning 3) party (even though I might stick with the baseball theme). My mom has a doll house which is his fire station and we can suggest items to fit in his world, but if it's not lined up with what's in his head, it's out the door. He's very specific about what goes in his fire station (I'll have to take a picture). Playdough has become fire hoses, film roles have become hydrants (we suggested salt shakers and it was not approved). 

My little man made me smile most when we came across this toy fire truck at the outlets and it became a real world. He was Fireman Judah and he had a job- to protect and serve (and keep the fire truck clean). 

So enjoy a little glimpse into my world {everyday laine}:

What Does Your Family Subscribe to in the Summer?

It's summer time, and with that comes an added need to get out of the house. The kids are home, it's hot, and boredom sets in. What do you opt for? I'm trying to figure out where I'll get the most bang for my buck. Any suggestions? These are a few I'm looking into.

1. Fairytale Town Membership:

They have 8 different levels of membership options. To cover my weekday needs, I would only have to pay $40 for an entire year to take Judah & Ireland is free. That's totally worth it. But the drive is about 30 minutes from my house. Judah loves this park- and it has great shade for the summer heat too. Might be worth it. I do have to say we go with Capital MOMS a few times a year too, so it could save money in the long run.

2. Folsom Zoo Membership:

We love the Folsom Zoo. It's about 5 minutes from my house. They have a great park you could pack your lunch and picnic in too. The only catch for me is the train ride. It would be probably and extra $4 every time we would go because Judah would not be able to focus until we went on the train. Decisions, decisions. I do love the area though. We love the Library right there too. Is it worth it? I feel like it could get boring with just me and the two kids. Any one else have a membership here? Cost is $60 for a year! Not bad.

3. Sacramento Children's Museum:

I  have to admit, I did not have a good first experience here, and we haven't been back. But I've got close friends that have memberships and walk there almost weekly from their houses. The company and friendship alone could be worth it. I guess I have to get over myself and my issues with our first experience. My family cost would be $65 (Ireland is free, and we probably wouldn't go with Joe much.) The next tier up is $90 once Ireland turns one and Joe would be included in that too.

4. My Gym:

I'm just adding it on this list in case you aren't familiar with it. I got hooked from a groupon. Then I realized how much I was spending a month ($59) and realized I could probably get way more out of that cost with another membership, which brings me to this blog. I have to say we loved our time at My Gym. I just had to cancel though to save money. That, and Ireland is getting to big to tote around. Their classes are really geared for age groups- so I was only paying for Judah to attend. If you have one child and a good size budget- it's totally worth it. Judah had a blast! So it's not an option for me anymore (we are saving money) but it could be an option for your family.

5. Folsom Aquatic Center:

We drive by this place all the time and it just looks like so much fun! The cost would be $149 for a summer swim season. And they are only open from about 1-6pm. I'm wondering how crowded it is too. It always looks packed in the summer time. Anybody a member? If you are, I would maybe consider crashing your party this summer and joining for some playdates...not sure though- it's a little pricy. Anybody a fan?

6. Capital Christian Center

So- I'm writing this blog at my parents house- and my dad said to include- "You can become a member of Capital for free just by going through Basecamp. It's free...tithing is appreciated..." ha. I just had to include it. I guess I'm kind of the marketing director too- so it makes sense. Capital Kids does offer some great events in the summer too. Check Out Summer Water Wars tomorrow (June 3- click on the link above for pertinent info) or Splat Week. Gotta love it!

7. I know there are other things to do the the summer that are free (splash parks, join Capital MOMS for outings, etc) but thinking still of maybe trying something new and seeing if there is a benefit for being a member.

What does your family subscribe to in the summer time? Any of these above? Let me know, we just might crash in on your party . . .

My weekend of FIRSTS . . .

My week started off fairly normal. Then I learned that I was turning 29! Yep, that's right. I only have one year left before the BIG 30. I don't really feel freaked out though, cause I'm still told I look like a 16 year old...thanks mom for the baby face. Ha.

"First" number 1.
I turned 29. That's only going to happen once in my life. Yep. On March 31, I became a year older. Thanks to family for spoiling me, friends for all the facebook messages, and my kids for wanting to sing happy birthday over and over and eat sweet treats.

"First" number 2.

We got Judah his first big guy bike with training wheels. He thinks he is so cool. The first day was a little slow just learning how to peddle. But by the second day, you would've thought he'd been riding for months. He loves his new helmet, wears daddy's softball gloves (cause he thinks it makes him cooler), and wants to jump on and go up and down the street all day long. He's growing up too fast.

"First" number 3.

Ireland got to ride in a swing. It was so sweet. She loved every minute of it and Judah loved having the companion. I wish I had the picts to show you, which leads me to number 4.

"First" number 4.

I had to get a new phone because my mic on my old phone had a malfunction. Luckily it was covered under warranty. I thought I backed up my phone this morning before heading into apple, but forgot I had to manually sync my photos and videos because I have too much on my phone and need to go through and organize it all. I only lost 1 weeks worth of stuff...but it had both Judah learning to ride his bike, and Izzy's first swing ride on there...bummer I know...but we can capture it again and pretend it's the first time...=) Good news- I just remembered that I uploaded videos to youtube...(as you'll see above, I luckily have those 2 "firsts" still...no photos, just the videos) This is my fourth phone in about a 2-year span. Between Judah dropping it twice on tile, leaving it on my car and then watching it get run over after I realized where it was, I invested in an Otter Box Defender Case and haven't had any troubles with phones breaking! If you have kids, an Otter Box is definitely worth the investment! Maybe not too fashion forward, but Judah can play games on it, throw it across a room, and it's still brand new underneath the case...gotta love it. Available at REI.

Well, that's the majority of my firsts. But it was definitely an eventful week. And it will continue to be eventful as Easter approaches, and Joe's birthday is on April 10 too...so more celebrating is ahead! I love the spring. I love experiencing new things too. I like to keep my "everydays" interesting.

Till next time.

One on One with Linda Gordon

We had the pleasure of getting to chat one on one with Linda Gordon at our last Capital Moms Sunday brunch. I thought it would be easiest for me to highlight some of her points in this blog vs. trying to type out all my notes on our group page. I hope if you weren't able to make it, that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging.

I personally took away the theme for the morning by trying to sum it up into this one word "PRAY." I know that this word can seem daunting to some. Growing up in the Christian world my whole life, this word has probably been overused and it has become more of a "rule" than a desire. Also, I know those who are new to faith can look at it from the perspective of "where do I begin?" I think a light bulb clicked in my head when Linda said, "Rest in the fact that you have a RELATIONSHIP with the Lord. It's about your relationship verse making a routine or set aside time." Note: there are different seasons of life. Some seasons can call for routine. I'm in a season where I've got a 2 year old and a 6 month old. While I probably should have them on a routine by now, I don't...and I'm in the "trying to survive" phase of life. Don't get me wrong, I love every moment of survival, but getting up at 6am every morning for devotions just isn't happening.

Linda encouraged us to "Take off the guilt! Take off the how to's, the now to's and what your best friend is doing or what super mom is doing!" I love that fact. I always find it so freeing when I'm not comparing myself to others. What works for you? Do you feel close to the Lord? If not, maybe try something new that works for you. I think some of my best prayer times come when I journal. I don't know what it is, but I must like the action of actually writing things down (instead of getting lost in my head of what I have to do for that day). Journaling just helps me stay focused. Maybe, taking your kids for a walk to the park and talking to God works for you. The point is, do what works for you. Try something verses saying it's too difficult or there isn't enough time in the day. Linda said, "Sometimes it's pray as I go, and sometimes it's God tugging on my heart saying, come spend a little time with me now." I love that...it seems like whenever we take the time to be with God, we are refreshed and our day works a little better than it would've had we not got that time in. It's the constant renewing of our mind.


She suggested a couple tools for praying as well that I think we have listed before on the page. But just in case you missed that, pick up a copy of "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian or "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Both are great tools that give you verses to pray over your kids or husband by topics.

Linda reminded us that though we are moms, we were first wives. I loved this line she said she learned after 39 years of marriage, "I can tell him anything once before it becomes nagging. Nothing will improve your husbands hearing more than praise! Be grateful!" She also reminded us that men don't think like us. We need to always feel the freedom to ask our husbands for help! They might not know we need it. Swallow your pride and ask them to help in a few areas. We can remind them too, when we get their help, it frees us up to give "favors" back in return...(if you know what I mean)...

Well, there was so much more to the conversation. I wish I had taken some video...but in the moment I totally forgot. We are going to have to make a habit of doing these brunches with mentors. I left feeling encouraged and revitalized. It's always good to be in the presence of God!

I'll leave you with this video that she mentioned on the topic of "discipline." Even in nature it is natural to discipline...this mother polar bear sticks her baby cub on time out...

Let me know if you have any questions...or comment ladies if I missed something that really stuck out to you!

Enjoy!

how I explained death to a 2 year old . . .

I hope this doesn't bum you out, but I thought I should probably share my life experiences from the past few weeks. Yep, our life has changed dramatically. My incredible grandfather passed away unexpectedly on Valentine's Day, February 12, 2012. The day started off rather typical. I got the kids ready for daycare/preschool and was off to work. I was sitting in my office when my Aunt was taking a phone call and told me I needed to come into her office and try to get a hold of my dad. At that point, we weren't really sure what was going on, but knew that Grandpa was with the paramedics. After a few moments on the phone with my dad, we got the news that he had officially passed and we were in disbelief.

I left work on a whirlwind and headed to my parents house to be with the family and then we all headed to the hospital to attempt to say our goodbye's. I left the kids at daycare/preschool and pretended to make it a normal day for them. Obviously, Ireland has no clue what's happend. But Judah knew something was up when daddy had come with me to pick him up. We took the kids to Momo & Popo's house thinking it would be a nice distraction- and after several texts/phone calls from so many dear friends who are probably reading this (I can't say thanks enough) we decided to send the kids home with Joe's parents for the night so we could get a full night's sleep and rest and be with my family for "adult" time. Really, I can't say thanks enough to all of you who offered to spend time with the kids...

When we picked Judah up from preschool, we explained to him that Gpa (Great-grandpa) had gone up to heaven to be with Jesus. His immediate response was, "I want to go to heaven and play with Jesus too!" We told him he wasn't going to get to see Gpa anymore, but we could look at lots of pictures and videos we have of him and it would make us smile. Judah is a pretty curious kid and he likes to ask lots of questions. We tried to keep his routine pretty normal, but with all the family get-togethers, dinners, services, people constantly around us, he knew something was up. Especially because GG (Great-grandma) was with us and he couldn't understand why Gpa wasn't there too. So pretty much every time we see GG- he asks for Gpa...and we ask Judah right back, "Where do you think Gpa is?" and he'll say, "He's in heaven playing with Jesus." or "He's in heaven playing his trumpet." It's probably a daily routine with him right now. But it's one that I cherish. Because you know that he loved and misses Gpa as much as we do and he keeps his legacy alive.

We didn't get together as often as we should have with Gpa, but when we did, Judah was sure to have a blast. Gpa would get down on his hands and knees and play "tractors" with him. He would play his trumpet for him whenever he asked. He watch goofy youtube videos with him on his computer, shared ice cream with him, commented on every facebook post with Judah (or commented to me via text), and was always so proud of our little 2 year old. There aren't too many great-grandpa's that I know that would crawl around on the ground with a 2 year old. He lit up the few times we surprised him for a visit at church and would take us to lunch and spoil us rotten! Those memories I will forever cherish.

When he sees balloons, Judah thinks of Gpa in heaven (we sent balloons to him- it just seemed like a practical way to reach heaven to a 2 year old). We were given a flower to plant in honor of Gpa and we see it everyday as we drive out of the driveway and Judah mentions that it's his flower for Gpa. I was getting stuff together to get out of the house this morning when Judah comes to me with a paper in his hand saying, "Mommy, it's Gpa, it's Gpa!" and he shows me a christmas newsletter with Gpa's picture he found in our office at home. We'll have to keep that newsletter tradition alive still to show of the great-grandkids as they continue to grow.

It's the little things in life, like trying to explain heaven to a 2 year old that increases your faith. It makes you think, "Do I really believe all this stuff about heaven"...and the awe and amazement that I see from him, the purity and innocence and of course the Bible- make it oh so real. With Easter being right around the corner, we've been reading Bible books about Jesus rising from the dead and going to heaven. With excitement - Judah says, "Jesus is going to see Gpa"...and we'll say...yep, Jesus and Gpa get to hang out all the time, and they are looking out for us. Don't be naughty, cause Gpa can see you...=)

We get to pray together every night before bed, and I always ask Judah who he wants to pray for. We go through the typical list of family members, friends, and people we saw that day and we get to talk to Jesus. The night after the memorial service, the first person Judah asked to pray for was GG (Great-grandma). This was a first. I asked him why he wanted to pray for her, and he said, "So she isn't sad anymore." We must have told him she might be sad, because he hasn't seen her cry or anything like that. But his sensitive little heart wanted to cover her in prayers. So, so sweet. Again, these moments make my heart smile.

There is so much more I could write in honor of my Grandpa. I think we are still a little in shock. It's going to be more real around the holidays and birthdays when we get together and our grandpa isn't there to make us laugh and tell us how proud he is. We know he still is, and we are so grateful for his life and for all those that he touched.

Here is a preview of a rare moment that I got to catch on video by accident. Moments like these either make me tear up a little or puts a huge smile on my face because the impact Gpa had was so huge in my life and even in my 2-year old's. It's not the greatest video because I was trying to catch Ireland playing with her bottle holder and she wasn't cooperating-but I thought I'd share it so you could see his authentic excitement: