when confusion sets in . . .

I'm getting vulnerable in a whole new way. Sometimes in life we get to places and think, "how did i get myself here?" Recently, I've been stuck. I found myself in over my head in a lot of areas in my life. Putting unrealistic expectations and pressures on for no good reason, then freaking out and taking a bunch of stuff off my plate. I'm learning how to enjoy the stillness. How to be ok with rest. How to be ok with not doing.

I've been in this weird space where I started collecting a ton of books, reading up on the more current Christian women authors and diving in head first in my effort to be "ok" with silence and stillness - I filled the silence up super quick with reading. I kept searching for things to make me feel "ok" with where I was at when in all reality, I just needed to rest.

In most of the books I was reading, many authors talked about counseling and how freeing it was. I have friends that have done counseling as well and I thought I should give it a try. What's the worst that could come from it, right? I don't mind talking to people and being vulnerable (to a certain point), and I was looking for some direction in my life in certain areas -  it might be good to just get it all out. So, I signed up and started talking.

One of the key things I've been learning is how easy it is to listen to other peoples voices and opinions over listening to what make you tick, what you value, and most importantly - who God is and what He values. I found that I'm a people pleaser. I strayed away from time alone by myself because I often viewed it as "selfish". I can easily find out what makes you tick and work to meet your standards. I actually find a lot of joy in helping other people out. But, I got to a point where I could see what everyone else needed and I was ignoring what I needed. I honestly didn't even know what I needed anymore.

It's so much easier to get validation from real people than from an invisible God. I was finding it easier to read other self-help books verses reading the Bible as well. (Books aren't bad, but when they are replacing the Bible- you can get yourself into a sticky situation). I was letting confusion sink in. I was letting other voices tell me what I needed to do, who I should be, what I should be working on, what I should be quitting or ascribing too, and I stopped listening to what God was telling me to do.

Confusion: a) "lack of understanding; uncertainty. b) ">the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something. It's so easy to get confused when you are looking for "truth" from a bunch of different sources. I'm learning to enjoy reading the Bible again. Seriously, why is this so hard?! Literally an eye opening message on enjoying the Bible came through scrolling Facebook and stumbling upon a message from Eric Knopf. You can listen to his message here. This was his list that I L O V E D.

TIME IN THE WORD: DO/DON'T 

• Don't wait until a crisis to read the Word.
• Bad attitude towards reading the Word blocks revelation.
• Don't have your Smart Phone near you.
• Don't binge-read the Bible. We have these reading standards no one can live up to. Manage your appetite.
• Don't limit your reading to the Bible. You're not cheating on the Bible when you read other books.
• Don't read the Bible unprepared. Expect God to speak to you. In OT, God had people build a stack of rocks to remember. Steward what God tells you. Use a highlighter. Record what God tells you.
• Do read the Bible in the morning. Your mind is less distracted/stressed and you're the most available for mental transformation. Morning gives God first fruits. It sets the trajectory of your day.
• Do slow down! You'll notice things you miss when you're reading too fast.
• Do read until you receive.
• Do record, memorize and synthesize. You can avoid having crisis by getting direction before they show up.
• Do read what is most enjoyable. There's something to be said for reading what interests you!

So, I'm taking time on Fridays now for myself (it used to be my "mommy" days with my kids). My goal is to really think about what I value. Getting back to the basics of enjoying reading and finding wisdom in the Bible. It doesn't probably sound so complicated - but it's clearing the haziness of confusion. The unclear things are fading away. I'm realizing that it's not selfish to take time for myself even when I could be giving my time to others. I've gotta get filled back up. 

Cheers to counseling, time alone, and finding truth and wisdom in the Bible (with JOY as opposed to a task). Hoping my vulnerability frees you up to do the same (even just with those in your closest circle).  

How Do You Do It All?!

How do you do it all? That's probably one of the questions I get asked most in life. How do you love your husband well? How do you love your kids well? How do you work full time? How are you so involved in church life? How do you find time to get to the gym? You lead a Mentor Mom program too? How do you find time to post on social media without it ruining your life? Does quiet time with God fit in there at some point?

All of these questions can seem so overwhelming and when I look at my life, I think, how does that all get done? And if it is (NOT), is it getting done well?  For the Love!

I'm excited to write today while teaming up with the For the Love Blog Tour. Because honestly, if you are to scroll through any of these blogs today (which will all sing high praises of this inspiring, real, hilarious, honest book) you will find that the answer to the questions above is that something has to give. Jen Hatmaker gives you freedom and G R A C E to not be everything to everyone.

I think deep down I'm realizing that I'm a people pleaser. I want people to be happy and come to a better understanding of who Jesus is, the G O O D that He is, the Rescuer you find in Him. Sometimes that pressure I put on myself can become so overwhelming that I start sacrificing the stuff that's most important to me. If I could sum up my response to this book, you'll find it here in the endorsement I submitted (it's not in the book BUT my name is - shameless plug):

In a culture that insists that women do it all, Jen dismantles the illusion of perfection in exchange for grace and love. She lifts the burden with humor and authenticity. For the Love makes room in our lives for what matters most: our relationships—relationships with our God, families, husband, kids, friends, and neighborhood. It's a no-brainer—this book will change the way you live your everyday life.

I have so many favorite chapters and favorite quotes I could fill up a week's worth of blog posts. I've already read this book two times! Two times! And I'm not typically a re-reader either. I just couldn't get enough of the G O O D that is in these powerful freeing words. Jen mentioned that her dream for this book was to help take you "off the hook." We live in a world of impossible standards, and the more we place high expectations on ourselves, the more we lose the ability to love those that matter most. Just because, here are a few of my favorite quotes:

On Balance:

It's like a unicorn; we've heard about it, everyone talks about it and makes airbrushed T-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven't actually seen one. I'm beginning to think it isn't a thing.

On Cooking:

Cooking is not an affliction . . . Cooking isn't actually hard at all. It is the simple mechanism that nourished every generation in time.

On Telling the Truth:

When I present a fabricated version of myself - the self who knows all, is ever certain, always steps strong - we all lose, because I cannot keep up with that lie and neither can you.

Don't try to win over the haters; you're not the jackass whisperer.

On Marriage:

Lean honestly into every hard place, each tender spot, because truthfulness hurts for a minute but silence is the kill shot.

On Jesus Kids:

Good behavior won't guarantee anything. If they don't love Jesus and people, it matters zero if they remain virgins and don't say the F-word. We must shepherd their hearts, not just their hemlines.

On Community:

If you can make a pot of chili and use a cell phone, then you can create community. 

Instead of waiting around for the church to assemble a perfect group dynamic of People Who Can Meet on Tuesdays, maybe just invite some folks over. A shared table is the supreme expression of hospitality in every culture on earth.

Final Thoughts:

Be kind. Be you. Love Jesus. 

I'm walking away from this book with a desire to be more present in my relationships, slow down a little, give grace unconditionally, and cheer for the woman sitting next to me. We've got a big job to do, and as we each play our part, we'll be able to accomplish it together.

Get your copy today!  Find more goodies on her website as well: www.forthelovebook.com




GIVEAWAY!

**Comment below with an area of your life that you need to give yourself a little more grace in for a chance to win your own copy of FOR THE LOVE! I'm giving another book away today. Share this post on facebook, twitter, instagram or pinterest and let me know and I'll give you an extra entry! Announcing the winner on August 20 when my copies of the books get in!

Friday Favorite Things!

I always love seeing what other people are into at the moment, so I thought I'd share with you what's been on my mind and in my hands lately! I would love for you to share your favorites back too.

1. The Happy Hour Podcast with Jamie Ivey
I've never really listened to podcasts before, but I seriously can't say enough good things about this one! I can't stop listening. It's as addicting as your favorite show on netflix. I've got this great drive into work & the gym these days with our new move, so it keeps me fed with all these great resources and inspiration. She even gives you a "how to" if you've never listened to a podcast before and need to learn how to get started. She's friends with some of my favorite authors, and I love the behind-the-scenes everyday life picture you get from listening.

Click Image for Link!

2. Serial Podcast
Literally this is the second podcast I've ever listened to and I couldn't stop. I love a good murder mystery and this is based on a true story with a reporter that tries to find out if the convicted-for-life felon is truly guilty or innocent. At the end of the show, you get to decide. I still don't know what to think about this particular case, but it's fascinating (and addicting). Warning, it's not kid-friendly content due to language and some graphic details. Listen at your own risk.

Click Image for Link!

3. Audible Book Downloads
Honestly, I can't say too much about this cause I just downloaded my first FREE book. Joe and I are going out of town this weekend and I got a book I thought we would both enjoy listening to on the drive. Again- I think I'm just learning about this whole "listen in your car" thing and I'm LOVING it. In case you are curious, I downloaded "Through the Eyes of a Lion" by Levi Lusko (I mean have you see Joe's back tattoo?) Levi is a pastor in Montana who lost his daughter at the age of 5 to an extreme asthma attack 5 days before Christmas. He's a wordsmith and I just can't wait to hear his story. I'll tell you more about it after this weekend.

Click Image for Link!

4. Hello Fresh
If you know anything about me you know how much I HATE cooking. So, in good fashion, I heard about "Hello Fresh" on The Happy Hour Podcast, and decided to try it out. Your first week you get 3 meals (which I only ordered enough for 2 people, cause Lord knows my kids eat like birds right now) and I got $30 off. So the total was only $39 for 3 farm-fresh meals. I'm going to try it out and see how it goes. I also got really enthusiastic and made a recipe binder that's still sitting in my car, ummmm ya. It was a good thought. Plus, I heard about this book "Devotions for a Healthier You" by Katie Ferrell and I stuck it in my Amazon account that Joe and I share, and he surprised me and bought it. I'll let you know how that read goes later. It has yummy recipes, it's just designed cute, and it was on sale, plus it's a hardcover. I love hardcovers.

Click Image for Link

5. For the Love by Jen Hatmaker
Speaking of cooking and inspiration. I really, really love the writings of Jen Hatmaker. I think she just speaks my language. She shared about a time in her new book "For the Love" when she decided to start to enjoy cooking. She was a macaroni and cheese, hamburger helper, peanut butter and jelly kind of cook, and then shifted her thinking. Started watching the food network, kicking the kids out of the kitchen while cooking if they were whining and complaining, turned some good music on, and created a process and love for the kitchen. I'm a work in progress, but it really inspired me. PS. I bought 5 copies of the book to giveaway. Let's start today! If you want a chance to win a free copy of the book (Guys, my name is in the back credits, gah!) comment below (on the blog or facebook) with one of your current favorite things! I'll randomly select a winner on Sunday 8/9. The books are shipping on August 18 (the release date of this little treasure.) Pre-order a copy today too! PSS. If you're extra interested, listen to Jamie Ivey interview Jen Hatmaker on the Happy Hour podcast. It's a good one.

Click Image for Link!

I've got a lot more favorite things to add to this list right now, but I'm going to stop with this and continue next week! Cross your fingers for some more goodies.

Thanks for reading and comment for your chance to win a book!

xoxo

anything story // the hurting never stops

Jennifer Turney accidentally stumbled in our small group in October 2013 at Capital Christian Center in Sacramento, CA. Jennifer had recently been diagnosed with Systemic Lupus and had to resign from her occupation as an Addiction Specialist working for STARS (Specialized Treatment And Recovery Services) but she knew there was more to life than resigning to pain. I was leading a group called MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers) at the time and was looking for a way to blend a privileged community of moms with mothers needing a helping hand. Mentor Moms was birthed over breakfast at Ettores (a local bakery), while we shared a passion and a dream to connect the two diverse populations.

Jen & I

Jen's story is quite different than mine. Jen doesn't like talking about the past much because she feels like it highlight's too much of what the enemy has stolen from her. She wants to spend more time on what Jesus has given her instead! However, she survived human trafficking, eating disorders, domestic abuse, drug addiction and homelessness. Beyond that, Jesus came to her. Jesus rescued her! Jesus took all the broken parts of her past and showed up in a big way. He showed her what truth looked like for the first time.

Lupus took away some basic functions of life. Some days it's tricky to brush her teeth, style her hair, get dressed, put on makeup; the pain comes in like a flood and quickly strips her of normality. Other days, she's able to slowly get ready and make it out to a couple appointments. She's currently undergoing a trial-based treatment getting infusions (similar to chemo) every-other-week. She easily could give up on purpose in life. She easily could resign to pain and bed-ridden days. But she's not! She said an "ANYTHING" prayer when Jesus rescued her. She can't stand the idea of mothers never hearing the truth and freedom of Jesus. Though the pain in her physical body can be unending, she always mentions the hurt and the pain in the lives of women in our own Sacramento community that will never end until they are shown love in practical ways through our mentors. She's famous for saying, "I won't stop working because the hurting on the street never stops."

Jen & Laine with Mentee Amber & Kids

Jennifer had access to drug and alcohol treatment centers, transitional living programs, and CPS cases from her previous exposure and employment which helped provide a referral system for the mentees in our group. We were able to quickly create training material, recruit reliable mentors and set up a non-profit organization in the last two years through the good and the bad days of Lupus. Jen is a fighter. She's not going to go down without seeing God do a miracle. We are seeing miracles every day in the lives of our mentees who are overcoming huge obstacles. Even if her physical body is not healed on this earth, she is apart of healing hearts everyday and extending the love of Jesus.

Her story was shared at our Easter services in April 2015. You can watch part of her video here: https://vimeo.com/123719488

Jennifer Turney from Capital Christian Center on Vimeo.

#anythingproject

You can read more about the #anythingproject here: ANYTHING

Follow more of what Mentor Moms is doing on our social networks:
facebook.com/SacramentoMentorMoms
instagram @MentorMoms
twitter.com/MentorMoms

heartalk // capital women

there are seasons in life that come and go. i think the word "season" comes with even more impact and gurth when you become a mom. you travel quickly from infant season to toddler stage to preschool to elementary, etc. to top it all off, our culture puts various expectations on women to do it all and be it all to everyone. it becomes nearly impossible. the guilt piles on and we are left feeling undone, unsuccessful, unfulfilled. so, how to we go through these seasons of life with purpose, feeling free and alive? good question, right?! i don't know the answer, but i'm willing to walk out on the road to finding some peace in each season of life.

mops was a season for me. an extremely effective, growing, learning season. i loved every minute of it and the friendships that were birthed and maintained. but with much prayer, conversations and wisdom from friends and family, that season is over for me. it's time for something new. something fresh. something that can reach more women in this culture that we live in (large population of working moms). and with all that said, we want to join women who are walking through various seasons of life. generationally we can learn from each other. i desire to have people in my life wiser, with more years under their belt having those hard life conversations with truth and honesty. i also desire to walk with those younger than me, full of creativity, the world at their fingertips - how can we collide all types of women? again, i don't have the answer, but i don't want to sit still waiting for something to happen- i want to be apart of the solution.

this all leads up to "heartalk." it's a stirring in my heart and those i surround myself with. it's a desire to gather women from all seasons of life and talk "JESUS." talk about what Jesus is doing in our life. talk about how to include him better and more. talk about real life. the good, bad and ugly. Jesus promises us that we can have life abundantly and live in freedom. i want to take hold of that promise!

more to come. this is just the beginning.

Find out more info or RSVP for the event at: https://ccc.webconnex.com/heartalk

Discipline & Needed Change

My sweet little love decided she was sick of preschool after being in her new class for a couple of months. She's too smart for her own good, and went on a two-week spring of acting out in order for me to get the "preschool suspension" phone call and have to come pick her up. After a couple parent-teacher conferences, we all were wracking our brains for various ways to halt this spree of "sad heart choices" and we came up with plans to work together. (If you are looking for parenting advice, you've come to the wrong spot. I'll share my experiences with you candidly, but I'm not sure you will want to duplicate all the failure along the way.)

In the midst of it all, I sought to find humor in the disturbances. You can't make up the kind of outbreaks that Izzy attempted in seeking havoc in her classroom. My stack of incident reports is going to have to be displayed in her wedding video montage at some point. Her teachers are saints. They truly love her and were trying all kinds of methods to get her to listen. She just wasn't going to have it, because her ultimate desire was to get out of class and spend time with me. She knew what it took to achieve her goal. Act out dramatically (see report). Sit in the principles office (which is a resort to her). Phone mom for an early pick up and get an extra day off due to bad behavior (the best kind of consequence a three-year old could come up with). Don't feel sad for us just yet, this story gets better.

I attempted to share my "real life" parenting mess with the general public for these reasons below:
1. It's quite humorous
2. I enjoyed people telling me "paybacks a $#87!"
3. Some actually suggested good ideas and solutions
4. Some just came along the pity party with me
5. It's quite humorous (again)

I guess you would say most people probably look at my life and surroundings and think I should have this parenting thing all figured out. The good news is, I can't fool any of you. Each kid is uniquely designed and with God's help and guidance, we are doing the best we can. If you've got parenting struggles, know that you aren't alone! It happens to the best of us!

As stated before, the story gets better. My sweet, sweet grandmother (Mary Ann Cole) is an angel here on this earth. After seeing a couple of my facebook posts and incident reports, she called my father with sadness. She didn't think Izzy was capable of such disrespectful behavior. My dad reassured her everything was ok (and that Izzy just isn't saved yet and reminded her of my childhood) and she did what any amazing grandmother would do; she started praying for my dear child. During her prayer time, God gave her a new creative idea (seriously God-breathed). She asked me if she could pick Izzy up a couple days a week around noon. She would give her some one-on-one time (Izzy's love language would be "quality time") and they could play together. I didn't even hesitate! That would be the perfect solution for my little cherub. She could give her the quality time that I couldn't (I'm a working mom- thank you Jesus!) and it would break up Izzy's week a little.

Needless to say, she's been faithfully investing in Iz for the last three months. They've gone to the salon together, Nordstrom, the grocery story, walks to the mailbox, puzzles galore, coloring and so much more. Since she's been picking her up, I haven't received one incident report. Not one. I can't thank my grandma enough for following God's leading. They've got a special relationship. It's the sweetest. I think God knows what each of us needs. When we ask, he always answers!

Crying in the Costco Bathroom Stall . . .

I have been told that I was a "strong-willed" child. I've also been told that entering into parenting my past faults would come back to haunt me. I guess you could say it's the circle of life or whatever, but the truth is, it's becoming my reality.

Sample Incident Report

Don't get me wrong, my children are amazing! They surprise me everyday with glimpses of hope. But I'm also in the trenches right now. I'm walking through the messy parenting stages of life with a 4 and 2 year old. I cross my fingers daily as I go to pick up Izzy from preschool that she hasn't had a rough day. My stack of incident reports is growing (the only competition is my sister-in-law with my niece Ella- ha). My parent-teacher conferences are getting scheduled more frequently. It's no joke. I'm in the trenches.

I'm sure you are wondering what this all has to do with crying in Costco- so here goes. My cute little family of four adventured to Costco on Saturday before heading to a few family and friend BBQ's last weekend. We had to pick up "the goods." We like to think we have our shopping trips mastered at this point. Joe grabbed a cart and stuck Judah in it. I grabbed another cart and stuck Izzy in it. Divide and conquer, right?! Well, everyone needed to stop for a potty break so we headed to the bathroom. And so it begins. . .

Izzy is smart. Izzy is potty trained. Izzy is independent. She opened a bathroom stall and proceeded to go potty all by herself. I headed to the stall next to her (TMI-sorry) rushing quickly to make sure she didn't have any escapades crawling between stalls (cause that has happened before) I was done and waiting for her to finish. She started taking her time and I was in a little hurry to get our shopping trip done. I knew for sure at this point the boys were so far ahead of us, that I knocked on her door and offered to help her get her pants up. She insisted that she could do it herself which was fine for the first minute that passed. But with the clock ticking, I opened her door to which she responded by screaming loudly in the echo-y bathroom. I continued by pulling up Izzy's pants and carrying her out of the stall to her dismay. Those in the restroom (and outside the restroom) heard her disappointment and frustration. To me, it wasn't that big of a deal (maybe it should have been?). Just a battle of the wills at this point and I was going to win.

Well, I take Izzy up to the sink to wash her hands and she's still upset, but I'm #winning. I guess not only was Izzy upset, but an older woman also became very upset that I wasn't doing anything to put Izzy in her place. Washing her hands next to me, she looks over and says "Aren't you going to do anything about that? You know there is something you can do!" (I'm guessing she's referring to "spanking" her). To which I turn and say, "Thank you," very kindly as to not enter an altercation.  She grabs paper towels on the other side of us and turns to Izzy and says "Brat." I think more than anything at this point I was kind of in shock. No words came out of my mouth. She continued to exit the restroom and then turned around back to me and said, "You know the only reason she is like this is because of you." Still in shock I said, "Thank you, you have been very helpful." And she walked out the door.

She then runs into Joe and asks, "Did you confiscate my cart?" To which he replies (not knowing any of what just went down inside) "No, but your husband confiscated our extra cart and moved down that direction." She muttered under her breath and walked away.

I actually did not end up crying in the bathroom stall (just thought it would be kind catchy) but I know plenty of young, tired moms (without much support) that easily could have ended up defeated and crying in a stall. I probably felt a little deflated, but I won my battle with Izzy (even though it wasn't a quiet win). I explained to Joe what took place and he laughed. He said, their home must be really lame and not filled with much life. I guess the husband was standing by Joe (after the husband confiscated our extra cart) and when Izzy uttered her first frustrated scream the man said "Jesus Christ" to which Joe replied, "No sir. It's not Jesus. It's just Izzy." The man then walked further down the lane to remove himself from the scene of the crime.

Well, I know I don't have parenting figured out. Seriously, I don't. My children don't always listen to me at my first request. Sometimes there are tears, timeouts, spankings (we actually do spank sometimes) but I do try to ask God for help along the way. I know that He has given me my kids for this time in history. I know that He has equipped me to be their mom. To win some battles of wills, but more importantly to teach them that Jesus loves them. That Jesus has created them to show love to those around us. That Jesus has blessed us, so we can in turn bless others. We are walking life out together. I just wish that the nice old lady could have looked at me instead and said "I've been there. Keep fighting the good fight. You've got this."

I hope my little story sparks something in you today! Don't be discouraged. You've got this! My little fighter (her name is Ireland people) is going to be something mighty! This will be a story I can tell her when she ventures into parenting and has one just like her. Good luck!

My everyday life.

MOPS Be You Bravely . . .

MOPS International announced their theme for 2014/15 not too long ago, and everyone is buzzing with excitement. It's a great follow up to A Beautiful Mess. We have wrote out our stories, we have dug down deep to find our callings and what we are good at; now, we get to live it BRAVELY!

Here are just a few graphics we created (with the help of the leaders idea board on mops.org).

Our leadership team is getting ready to start planning our retreat to get away this summer. We are excited about the future, and ready to live Bravely.

Download the PSD (photoshop) files for the images above here from Dropbox:
1. Facebook Cover: https://db.tt/8yRyNSOM
2. 5x7 Postcard Front Image: https://db.tt/ewOfXy4L
3. 5x7 Postcard Back Image: https://db.tt/pirDSx9q

What Does Jesus Say? (Free Scripture Printables!)

Lately, I've been getting asked some tough questions. Questions about grey areas in life. I don't consider myself a Bible scholar by any means, but I keep coming back to the simple thought - "I wonder what Jesus says about that?" This isn't a profound blog by any means today- just something that's been on my mind lately. I want to know what Jesus says. I want His words to matter and change me. Change my thoughts. Change the world. 

I've asked a couple of "leaders" in my life to help me figure out some of these grey areas. Each of them keeps saying to me. Go read the Gospels. The first 4 books of the New Testament. Jesus has a lot of good stuff to say in there. I was thinking they might just give me a quick answer so I wouldn't have to go study on my own, ha- but after pondering those instructions, it's been inspiring me. Bringing some new life to my outlook on how I read the Bible. 

I happened to stumble onto Ann Voskamps instagram account (@annvoskamp) on accident as she was tagged in someone else's post. I'm glad I did. Because not too long ago- she posted this amazing blog about bringing scripture to life. It's long, but it's good! A couple of her quotes that moved me:

• "Is Jesus merely useful to you — or is He ultimately beautiful to you?" When Jesus is merely useful to me, I want Him to move my world. When Jesus is ultimately beautiful to me, it’s my heart that is moved – and this begins to change the world.

• What if Jesus’ Word was more than useful to us? What if it was beautiful to us?

This inspired her to create a project she titled "The Jesus Project" where they are taking 24 verses from the book of John and making them art for the purpose of memorization. Isn't there something so new and fresh about Scripture when it looks pretty? I hope that doesn't mean I'm a little materialistic here, but it's so much more fun to read when it's artistic. So, head over to her blog- you can download the 24 prints for FREE! If you get stuck here and don't know how to print these out, let me know- I'd be more than happy to help give a tutorial on how to print these! (Her blog is long- they are located at the bottom of the page).


Then to leave you with something else. This is a key verse that has become one of my "life verses" lately. I used it in "my story" that I shared at MOPS. Not only is this scripture thing going to challenge me to read the gospels more enjoyably (or fresh) now, but it's also inspiring me to potentially create some more Scripture prints myself. (It's something I like to do in my spare time- at like 2am in the morning, ha!)... 

Stay tuned! God is changing me through His Word and I hope you allow Him to do the same for you! Download my print quality scripture for free here!

uniquely prepared for someTHING . . .

Ever have those moments where you look back at the past few months and can see God's incredible touches of grace and preparedness for what's to come? I don't know if it's because I'm 30, because I have two ridiculously amazing kids and a husband who lets me live out my dreams, because of the way I was raised, because of the way I'm choosing to do life, etc. but the only way I can get through day-to-day stuff is by recognizing this world is way bigger than just ME and only God's grace is amazing enough to carry me through each moment.

I'll catch you up to speed here since it's been a minute since we've last chatted. Once MOPS started (last blog post) and my work load piled up, it's been a wild ride with not much space in between. (I can't believe I never posted about MomCon either it was an AMAZING part of this "THING" I want to share with you.

If you aren't a detail person you can skip all of my jargon for the reveal of the THING down below. If you don't mind reading all the how to's this THING came into existence...I'll take you on a little journey.

A huge challenge I've been faced with lately (strongly in 2013) was trying to surround myself with people who don't think like, act like, or believe like me. You see, I grew up in the church. I went to private christian schools the majority of my education experience. I now work in a church. My friends all believe in God and we talk about Him often. But, what good am I doing, living in these safe environments? Don't get me wrong, I'm highly appreciative for all that I've been given, blessed with, even protected by growing up the way I did. But, I'm pretty sure "my story" (past and present) has uniquely prepared me for what's ahead.

The theme this year for MOPS is "embracing your story." I was super excited about it and a little nervous all at the same time because I don't really feel that I have a very interesting "story" (my friends would say otherwise) but I just felt it was really "safe" and kind of non-impressive. Another challenge to myself from last year was to figure out how to SHARE my story. To talk about what makes me who I am and believe the way I believe. So, I've been writing it out. I even went as far as sharing it at a MOPS meeting last semester (I guess I'm due to blog about that now too, huh?) Anyways, it's all led me to a place where I just feel extremely "called" (there's a churchy word for you) to reach moms. Like seriously passionate about it. Like it can keep me awake at night sometimes, and it can keep me loving my kids too when they are driving me crazy- ha! I guess you can kind of see it's impact on my choices too from the launch of Capital Moms and Capital MOPS. But, it doesn't stop there. If you notice before each of those words (moms and mops) came the word Capital. That's not a bad thing. But it's all a church THING. I now want to help our church moms reach our community moms in this new THING. Moms that have no clue what hope looks like. Moms that have addictions. Moms that need to be loved right along their life journey. Because, regardless of where we are all at along the path; we can all relate and find a common ground on the defining word "MOM."

So, (fast forward) we are in a fasting small group study (going to admit here I didn't take it as seriously as I probably should have) but God is way cooler than me - so He drops in a new couple to our group on 11/6/13 which has spurred a unique bond between us. Jen and I head to brunch to catch up on life and share where we are at. Low and behold, God connected me the "church mom" with an advocate for the "community mom." You see, Jen works in a program where she heads to a moms home before CPS comes in to take her kids away and rescues the mom as a last resort into various programs (detox, residential, etc). She works alongside the courts, the social workers and the moms to figure out a better way of life because they don't know any better. They have never seen anything different. Most are repeating life cycles from previous generations. So, we get a brilliant plan together to pair the "church mom" with the "community mom" in a partnership as a "mentor mom." (our THING)

What is a mentor mom? Glad you asked! We are kind of making it up as we go along, because each situation will be organic. But the gist of it is the "church mom" would be meeting up with the "community mom" for playdates, being available by phone to help give advice in times of need, a model if you will, an example for what life "could" look like. Being a friend. Most of these moms don't have a support system. They don't have family members to turn to for help. Most have never seen what a healthy lifestyle looks like, not even a glimpse. The mentor mom would also share her struggles and advice on how to deal with crazy kids in a healthy manner (not perfect, but healthy). We give a mom someone to stand next to her and hear the words "I believe in you, you can do this!"

I know it's a lot to swallow. It's been building and progressing quickly. We feel it's far bigger than anything we can do on our own, but we also know that God is walking before us. If your heart was stirred at all while reading this, I would love to connect with you! as Jen would say, "The suffering never stops. The need will always be there." That only means one thing, we need more mentor moms to jump on the journey with us. It's something that requires a little training. We will help provide the how to's and a life-line along the way. I'd be more than happy to share more details if this peeked your interest. Pray about it. God could be telling you to try it out. On my book list this year is "She Did What She Could" by Elisa Morgan (spoke at Mom Con and I just bought the book- you can read the first chapter by clicking the link)...Being a "mentor mom" is nothing more than offering friendship at this point. Saying you are available to meet the need of a hurting mom. Is that something you could do?

So, for those who didn't want to read all my other ramblings- here's the short version of my life since October:

SHORT BREAKDOWN & MORE HERE
1. Mom Con - Jen Hatmaker - this quote has haunted me since: "I'm sick of serving saved people and blessing blessed people. Are we obsessed with our neighbors? Are the hurt, lost, broken people around us welcome into our home?"
2. Small Group - Wednesday, November 6 Jennifer Turney and her husband stumbled into our group (only a God thing) which led to the two of us catching brunch together.
3. Brunch with Jen - we each share our stories (which are vastly different in a good way) and we share what we are passionate about.
4. Share my story at MOPS- and I believe "my story" has uniquely prepared me for things only God can get all the credit for leading to this "mentor mom" THING
5. Jen and I meet an amazing mom and daughter who've come out of addictions and much more for a playdate with our kids.
6. Jen, the director of a VOA residential program, and myself meet at Chipolte to talk about how we could potentially all work together.
7. I head on a tour of a residential and transitional home to get a feel for the moms I could be getting connected with.
8. A Mentor Mom program is birthed!
9. Maybe you are part of the rest of this story?
10. If you say you don't have enough time, read this blog over here, by Shauna Niequist (daughter of Bill Hybels, Willow Creek), my new favorite: What My Mother Taught Me

There you have it. (It's hard to put four months in one blog.) I hope it's not another 4 months till we chat next. Email me at laine.alves@capitalonline.cc if you want to get connected on this THING!

hey mom, what's your story?

i can't even begin to let you all know how excited i am about MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) this year! with one year under our belt, we are feeling like things are all flowing in the right direction! our leadership team is amazing and unique, comprised of so many incredible woman with unique opinions but a couple things in common: 1. we all love jesus 2. we are all moms and have a passion to encourage, support, and live life with others, not going through motherhood alone!

so, here's my shameless plug, because it's what keeps me up and night and excited in my "spare time" that doesn't really exist.

each year MOPS international comes up with a theme. this year it's "A Beautiful Mess . . . Embrace your Story." Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Everyone has a story right? You probably know a little of mine if you follow my blog, and if  you join MOPS this year, you'll learn more than you ever really cared to know. Regardless, I want to know your story and there are several other moms waiting at your table to hear your's as well! 

our meetings are fun, refreshing, time to fill your bellies with an uninterrupted brunch, talk with other moms, and most importantly some time for yourself (which we know doesn't really happen anymore). we cover various topics from parenting, marriage, health, decor, etc and always leave time to create deeper relationships with those in the room.

check out our invite card

you can read more about the details and dates by clicking on the image or visiting our registration page, click here!

i could go on-and-on, but i'll spare you some curiosity. if you have any questions or want to get connected, comment here or email me at laine.alves@capitalonline.cc.

the first monday is coming up fast! save the date for september 9. i promise you won't leave the same way you came and you'll have lifetime friendships that will help you get through these early stages of parenting.

thanks for reading a little of my everyday life.

you can catch a previous post from last year with some photos of a MOPS meeting here.

speak your mind

lately i've been trying to evaluate how i come across in various meetings. i naturally am passionate about whatever i encounter. when it comes to work, even more so. i'm not sure if it's because i work for my dad and i love and support what he does, or if it's just some natural inclination i was born with (probably a mix of the two), but regardless my words are strong and sometimes heated (sorry).

there are two staff meetings now which are going down in history for me of "speaking my mind." i'm sure there are several auxiliary meetings with my peers that probably stick out in some of your minds as well. my prideful self thinks that's pretty cool, i'll be remembered for saying it like it is. my humble self says, i could work on some things and grow.

the most recent meeting boiled down (in my head) to "saving money." i want to be a good steward of what we are given. an idea was presented to print stationary envelopes for each department so when mail is returned our volunteer mailroom staff wouldn't have to open up the envelopes to see what's inside, but rather- just pass on the "marked" envelope the the correct department. really, the idea is harmless. but in my mind (knowing numbers and cost of stationary) my heart started beating fast, i got a little sweaty (ha) and spoke up.

i pretty much interrupted one of my favorite people i get the privilege of working with (who was last minute designated the man to present the idea) and started my exhaustive reasonings for why the idea was "ridiculous." the only ok part of this whole thing is that we work together well, and he understood where i was coming from. the worst part was, the entire staff had to witness me strongly discuss, with frustration, my "opinions." it's one of those things you kind of had to be there for, but are glad you weren't. nobody seriously was (i'm hoping) offended. but i walked out thinking, "i probably could have gone about that a little more smoothly."

the good news is, we resolved the stationary issue with a simple added salutation onto labels, and i think all parties are somewhat satisfied.

my frustration really just lies with the "overthinking" of ideas to solve problems. i hate spending money when it's not really needed. and i even stronglier (i know that's not a word) hate the idea that we are sending out so many mass mailers that we are getting such a large volume of returned mail (causing the need to order personalized departmental envelopes - again, just a waste of money and a bad reflection of our poor database [which is getting resolved come august 4, hopefully]) . . . my heart is starting to beat quickly again . . .

the bottom line is (even though I was probably right and justified for my way of thinking), i didn't really come across as being "under control." more or less, as the verse states below, it wasn't very "mature" of me. yeah, I can get away with it, it might even be a little humorous at the time, but it wasn't really the best representation of Christ in me. go ahead and give me the example of Jesus flinging over the tables in the marketplace (ok- I'm being a little melodramatic) but the truth is, i want to GROW. i want to grow in LOVE. i would rather speak in "love" than just be speaking my "mind.

my reflections for the day. have a great holiday weekend!

Ephesians 4:15 (MSG)
God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love.

welcome into the world {mel's baby shower}

i love getting to be apart of throwing a baby shower. not only because it means you are welcoming new life into the world, but you celebrate friendships, family and the decorating! i am lucky enough to have grown up in a home that never missed a party. my mother loves to entertain. while setting up for mel's shower, she told us a story of how she served crackers and cheese on her mother's footstool (yes a stinky footstool) to visiting missionaries at the age of 3. she longed to host. she is good at it. and she passed it down to me.

planning showers with two little kids in tow isn't as easy as it used to be (without the kids). that's why we have a TEAM of ladies to help. (from left to right: Amy Sue, Tara, Kristin, Mel (the mommy we celebrated), me with baby Cohen (not mine-ha), Caitlin, and Kellie)

from left to right: Amy Sue, Tara, Kristin, Mel (mommy we
celebrated), me with baby Cohen (not mine-ha),
Caitlin & Kellie)

my friends threw me a shower for Ireland and the coolest part about it was that i was able to take all the decor home and stick it in her room! i seriously thought my friends were genius. so, we decided to go that same direction for Mel. they are naming their baby boy "Brooklyn Jay" and with that decided to go a stylish chevron grey, water soft blue, accents of mustard yellow and maps included.

of course we first went to our nifty pinterest site and created a board for mel's shower (view it by clicking on the link). we had an intial party planning meeting to divy up jobs and we were on our way. a few of my tasks included:

the invitation

chalkboard, books, napkins and the map pinwheels

spray painted botles, created the map "b" and bought the amazing globe off of craigslist for only $20. ps it's vintage 1963 and came with a book to authenticate it. all going in the baby's room.

wrapped the cones in map paper which were then filled up with fruit.

oh, there are so many more details that mel's amazing friends came up with like the pallet board, the table decor, the favors, etc. i can't leave out the banner that the one-and-only aubrey stewart created. the map print outs that we stuck in frames, the mad gab game created for the tables. i guess I'll just have to do a part 2.

another baby shower down. love you mamma melly! excited to "welcome baby brooklyn into the the world" in august!

best vacation ever . . . reality check

it's true. we had one of the best vacations yet! celebrating 5 years of marriage and getting some alone time doesn't really get much better. top it off with great weather, ocean view room, all-inclusiveness (i know that's not a word), we were on a high.

the only problem is, i'm having a hard time getting back into real-world mode. i was able to read two books, eat warm meals, lay out at the pool (without being clung to by a 3 and 1 year old), have uninterrupted conversations with joe, go to the bathroom in peace, and so much more (you know without the kiddos around.)

don't worry, i did miss them! we actually face-timed them every night (technology these days!) but the little moments of quiet, were oh so sweet! i would do it all over again tomorrow! it was actually a nice reality check for joe and i to make sure we get another vacation on the calendar longer than just a weekend getaway (or it won't ever happen.)

did i tell you already, we got a steal of a deal? the trip was 4 nights, 5 days to an all-inclusive resort, "dreams los cabos" for only $399 (total, not per person!) add in airfaire, we only paid $1200 for the trip. well worth the investment! yes, yes, we had to sit through a 90-minute presentation, but it was an easy "no." (you can listen to those details over at our podcast Space Three when it gets posted shortly, pretty funny.)

back to reality it is. i like to think of myself as a free spirit. i see life always with the glass full and spilling over but realizing lately that I let life happen to me instead of really making choices to grow. with that said, things i'm considering doing to make my life more productive because this quote keeps haunting me "by failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail" (thanks Benjamin Franklin).

1. creating a schedule for the kiddos on our days home. i have to get in a routine of doing it. i'm searching out ideas on Pinterest but could totally use your help!

2. meal plan anyone? i've been seeing on instagram lately the success of meal planning. one of these days i'm going to jump on the bandwagon. not only to eat healthier, but to save money. gotta do it. can somebody just email me there's? I know there are blogs out there, but i get so overwhelmed. maybe you could come live with my family for a week and help me do it. (again, haunted by the quote above)

3. memory verses with the kids? i saw this genius app on pinterest the other day and i'm totally considering using it with the kids (mainly for myself, but the kids motivation will actually help me do it). check this out (she really sucked me in when talking about how cheesy the book was too...i might have to design one- could be fun project...) the app link only $2.99 in the store- for some reason i was just really pulled into what she had to say. i want my home to be a place where the Bible is spoken often.

to keep it short and sweet (which i never can seem to do) i'll stop with 3 things. those 3 things are HUGE things that will take a lot of work and "preparation" for it to really make it work. even better of a word than "preparation" could be "organization." i seem to be able to get organized at work (to some extent) but i haven't got control over organizing the home yet. like i said, it's what's ahead for me.

back to reality i go. i want to succeed in life. don't you?

Page 23 Vision

I can tend to ramble and give more info than needed, so if you want to get to the good stuff, skip down to "I stood at the Capital MOPS table" . . .

Our church just recently started a small group series called "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick. Joe and I agreed to lead a group this time around after hiding out as newlyweds and then wiped out parents. We both felt like we should at least attempt to make it work in our schedule and we found a group of other amazing people to join us!

So, why did I title this Page 23 Vision? Well, one of the chapters in the book talks about figuring out what your gifts, talents, skill sets, passions are in life and letting God lead you into the impossible with that vision. The author was moved to step up in life after reading a quote from a Jim Cymbala book. The quote was written on page 23. So it just stuck. See it here:

I guess you could say, I was moved and wanted to see God move mightily on my behalf too! I started thinking . . .

I'm in a place in my life right now where reaching young moms, and making sure they don't get isolated and try to live life on their own, is my vision. Having two little kids of my own, I've been on the fine line of going crazy a few times in my life. I'm blessed though, with an amazing family and friends to help me out in those moments of "crazy." Some of my "I'm going crazy and feel alone" moments led me to start Capital Moms. From there, we have ventured into Capital MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) and continue to try to be available for moms in their time of need. Disclaimer- I'm a little extreme in what I tend to pursue. If you are a young mom, even staying a home, that is YOUR calling. There is a line in the book where the author says being a stay-at-home mom is your page 23 vision, because you have been given the "gift of time" to teach, discipline, guide, direct your littles. YOUR calling is going to be different than mine (it could be similar-but you will never be me and I will never be you). God has wired each of us so intrinsically.

Moving on to the good stuff: I've been challenged to see what God could do "impossibly" through me as we have jumped into this study. Well, when you ask, He answers. Here is a little glimpse into God working on the "impossible" in my life:

I stood at our Capital MOPS table at the group life fair on a Sunday at church and was approached by a young new family with an incredible story. They had only come to Capital for about 2 weeks at that point without any church background and walked up to the front for prayer. The husband needed a job, prayed, and 2 days later, he was working as a mechanic at an auto store. They came to church the following week and went up for prayer (with great faith since it worked last time) and prayed to get into permanent/transitional housing from the shelter they were currently staying at. The mother was 9 months pregnant and due in 2 weeks at the time we spoke. They were asking me if I would be able to get them any baby items (as I was standing at the MOPS table) since they literally only had some clothes in their possession. I collected their contact info (cell number and email) and told them I would be in touch!

Fast forward 2 weeks, I posted a couple requests on facebook and slowly started collecting some items in my office at the church. I randomly was messaged on facebook by someone in our church asking if I new anyone that needed a crib. I said YES, and we arranged to get it delivered to my office. In the mean time, I attempted to call the cell number of this family and never got ahold of anyone. I emailed, and got no response. Regardless of not connecting back with them, I felt the need to still get all the baby items. On Saturday, April 13, God starting moving and making the impossible happen and I just kept saying yes. I stuck the crib in my office, grabbed the young families phone number again off my desk, and decided to call them on my way home. The husband answered the phone and with excitement told me his wife was in labor. They were going to have the baby any time now. Plus, he had keys to their new apartment and was willing to take anything! Talk about crazy timing.

From Saturday to Monday, with the help of MANY donors and support, my brother and I met the family at their new place with a truck load and car full of items to bless them with. From a kitchen table, chairs, rocking glider, crib, changing table, bedding, clothing, toys, books, dinner and much more, we stocked their place up. They literally came from the hospital to their place as a new family for the first time. (All of you moms imagine with me for a sec- going from a shelter to the hospital to have your baby and coming home with a new infant to a new apartment basically fully furnished. Only God!) Not only did we help them get settled in their home, but all of my MOPS mommies pitched in and arranged to bring meals to this family for 2 weeks.

This story is God showing up in my life. I've been blessed immensely to just walk through open doors using my skill set (as a mom) and my connections to help watch a young family see God for the first time and become real in practical ways. What's your skill set? Want to see God do some impossible things on your behalf? Just say YES!

To be continued . . . (cause there are more impossibilities happening and some photos too)

a little of this, a little of that

Realizing I'm far behind on my updates with my kids and my "everyday" self, I thought I could give a quick recap of the past couple of months surrounding some big highlights.

My Everyday Life (remember, I'm not that normal)

1. We got a new car. We traded in our Navigator and got a more "gas" friendly family car. So, I'm driving the Camry now and Joe upgraded to a Lexus. Enjoying life from a smaller vantage point and really enjoying my gas bill!

Not the best photo, but you get the point.

2. We booked a trip to Cabo! Celebrated our 5 year anniversary with an overnight in San Fran but going to really celebrate when we take to the skies for Cabo in May! Can't wait!!!

The all-inclusive resort we will be staying at

3. We got a new dining room table. Haven't eaten on it yet, but we LOVE it. We actually had it made by the Capital Kids Interns. We are slowly getting all the seating finished, but our dining room is finally coming together! I think we are going to invite those that helped us build it to eat on it first!

Thank you to ALL who helped make this happen!

4. MOPS is still in full swing. I love it! I just love helping moms not live life on their own when it's so easy in this crazy season of life to do. We are launching fundraisers and working together to get to MomCon in October too. Super excited to do life with some crazy women!

Mops Fundraiser- see raising money can be fun!

5. I just turned 30! AHH but really it felt like any other Easter day. I think post kids- birthdays just haven't really affected me much. Then again, I got completely spoiled by friends and family- and I'm just going to say it again because I can- we are going to Cabo! Celebrating it big in May!

Check out that Cabo view!

6. I've been on a semi-health kick. I say semi- because with the littles, it's kind of hard for me to commit completely. But I've been working out at least 3 times a week (which is better than nothing right?) and watching what I eat a little more cautiously . . . minus snacking off of my kids food- ha- that'll be the death of me.

Costco check out! 

7. Got to have a date night with all the adults in our fam! My parents are the best. They surprised us all and bought tickets to a show called Traces (super cool) and treated us to dinner. We just love hanging out with our fam sometimes without the kiddos. We are super spoiled. Love that our parents like hanging out with us still!

Love my fam!

8. Celebrated a few other family birthdays too (Ella, our niece, turned 2! Joe's dad & Mom also got just one year older, so did my Mom! Birthdays birthdays birthdays- love how they bring fam together)

Ella's Farm party

9. I've been spoiled by my husband just because. You see, his love language (primary- cause he scores almost even on all 5) is gift-giving. So in an attempt to help me look cute at the gym, I've been scoring Nike shoes and cute sweaters. I love that he loves to give- but I really need to get better at giving to him- cause just like he enjoys giving, he likes to receive too- ha! that's the only bummer about that love language (but it's really not a bummer) I'm just being weird. The real bummer is that he has expensive taste!

10. Work, Work and Work...I actually really LOVE going to work. We are on our 58th Issue of the Magazine (which I love!) Check out our pinterest board! I get to live life out with really cool people and try to solve the worlds problems with LOVE. No greater task than that.

I'm sure I'm leaving some fun things out, but really, my life is a crazy adventure! I love living it out with my little family of four! (and of course extended family and friends!) I do live it a little randomly. So my next goal is to actually create some goals and see how many I can accomplish through the rest of this year! I received these awesome Vision Cast questions to do with Joe from Jen Patin (our Threshold Young Married leaders). We will be going through them on our trip. But I was given permission to share with you all- cause I thought they were awesome starters for getting some goals.

Did I tell you I'm super excited about going to Cabo?

Anyways, just a little of this and a little of that. I could probably write an entire blog on each of the items above, but gotta move on to some new things...so just a quick update on my life.

LOVE!